Well it was a massive 5-week month but July is over, which means Dry July is also over. So, how do I feel? AMAZING! I’m sure it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that abstaining from alcohol will do nothing but good for you, but I am absolutely floored by how great I feel. OK so the last two weeks were spent with cold and horrific migraines BUT they were caused by non-alcoholic related sources, and so I know I recovered a hell of a lot quicker by being dry for three weeks previously than if I’d been hitting the piss all month.

I admit my sweet tooth went into overdrive without my usual sweet champagne’s, ciders and wines to placate it, but I have only managed to lose weight because no matter how many cupcakes and sweets I eat, nothing is worse than the liquid fat that is alcohol. I also realised it is actually not that difficult to not drink. I managed to go to a few events, including a gig, a boozy work function and a friends birthday dinner and not feel tempted to pick up a glass of wine. OK so there was a tiny bit of temptation, but it was super easy to resist and I felt awesome being able to get up the next morning feeling the marvelous clarity of sobriety.

So what have I learned, in summary? It’s really not that hard to say no. You feel amazing if you keep off the booze for a decent period of time. Friends will try to get you to drink at times, but good friends will take “no” as your final answer. Drinking a glass of water for every alcoholic drinks is really important. That last one is a big one I have never been good with, but will put into practice immediately. I will also remember to drink less and just say no if I am not really in the mood or have to do something the next day. They all seem simple enough but the lure of a naughty little drink is hard to resist.

Right now I am drinking my first alcoholic beverage for what has been just under six weeks. If it wasn’t for some special events next weekend, I probably wouldn’t even bother drinking at all this month either. But as I have promised to share a few drinks with a visiting friend, I am slowly introducing our evil friend back into my system. I have a feeling I will be asleep by 10pm at this rate, it’s already starting to hit me!

There is a march happening in Brisbane tomorrow called SlutWalk which is a protest rally the came into being in retaliation to a Canadian police officer who suggested women could avoid sexual assault by not dressing like a “slut”.

I had never heard of this event before until a work mate mentioned it to me today. Her friend is keen to take part in the rally and asked her to help support the cause, but my workmate was feeling conflicted about what she thought of the event. We had a great discussion about our thoughts on what SlutWalk stands for, and even had some male perspective thrown in from another work mate.

If you’ve never heard of it, it is essentially a rally for women who have had enough of the perception that a woman deserves to get raped because of the outfit she was wearing or the way she was acting. It is also claimed they take back the world “slut” so that the meaning becomes that of someone who enjoys sex, as opposed to the negative meaning it currently has.

I have to admit, I am very conflicted about this as well. As I have said in previous posts, a woman should be able to walk down the street completely naked without fear of being raped. And if a girl wants to wear a short skirt, dance suggestively and have a party pash while extremely intoxicated, she has ever right to do so without running the risk of EVER being raped. Men should be able to handle their desires for sex, they should be able to look at a girl in skimpy clothing and not want to rape her. But I am also a realist and feel that women who can’t handle their alcohol or give off a vulnerable vibe need to be more mindful of how they’re perceived in order to lower their chances of being attacked by the kinds of people who are out there with rape on their minds.

I also absolutely abhor the word “slut”. I think it is the most repulsive word. I find it far worse thasn the C-bomb because of what it means to most people and how it gets used. To me a slut is someone (male or female) who has frequent, unprotected sex without any regard for their own well-being, let alone that of their sexual partners. But that’s not how most people think of the word nor how they use it. It’s a word used specifically for women (if ever it gets used for men, it’s always male-slut) and is used for any female who happens to enjoy having casual sex. It doesn’t matter that she uses protection or even if knows the guy/s, the fact she’s having sex with men who aren’t her boyfriend more than once in a blue moon is something to look down upon and use a foul name to describe her character.

I don’t know how they expect to reclaim the world slut, because it was never “ours” to begin with. It’s not like the word faggot (another one of my most hated words) that actually means a bundle of sticks. Nor the word “cunt” which is a slang word for vagina and in my opinion, should not be considered the worst swear word, because there’s nothing wrong with vagina’s, thank you very much! The word “slut” has negative connotations and can never be reclaimed. It didn’t once mean something nice and innocent, it’s always meant the same awful thing. I’ve never heard the word used in anything but a hateful, demeaning and misogynistic way and I don’t want it reclaimed, if ever that were possible. If I had my way the word would be wiped from everyone’s memories and never used again.

I feel they are going about this the wrong way. As my male workmate said, rapists usually aren’t targeting women for what they’re wearing, they’re targeting the vulnerable. Why would they target a girl confident enough to wear a micro mini skirt when they could go for the meek girl who’s covered up but obviously wouldn’t put up much of a fight? This perception that women who wear “slutty” outfits or stumbles around drunkenly after a big night out and then get raped were “asking for it” is not the opinion of the rapists, but of the general public. Even in this modern day and age, many people still have the old-fashioned and sexist idea that a woman is asking for sex (consensual or not) when she wears certain clothing. These ideas are hideously old fashioned but they’re also deeply ingrained in many people, so having a march called SlutWalk isn’t going to make them say “Oh, they’re right, a woman should be able to wear what she wants and not get raped for it”. More than likely they think all of the participants are being hysterical feminists or that they’re just trying to justify their wicked ways with a protest.

I appreciate what the SlutWalk is setting out to achieve, and I hope I am wrong and it does raise awareness on the matter and converts some peoples way of thinking about women who enjoy sex and/or likes to wear skimpy clothing. But I really do think there’s a good chance they’re doing just as much harm as good by drawing attention to and essentially reinforcing the negative stereotypes of promiscuous women by calling it SlutWalk and then having half the participants dressing as “sluts”. If I didn’t have plans tomorrow, I’d go on the walk and see what it’s all about, in case I am missing something that would allow me to be more enthusiastic about the event. After all, anything that encourages feminism in younger generations is a good thing, and for that I am thankful for the SlutWalk phenomenon.

For now I will leave you with an comment left on an article on the Brisbane Times which sums up my feelings about the whole thing quite well:

This reminds me of bra burning, something that still defies a reasonable explanation. This action will do little to change the minds of arrogant men and disappoints others by it being a manic over-reaction.

I would like to know what you think on this issue, and if you’ve attended one of the SlutWalks. Am I being too sensitive because I hate the word “slut” so much? Or do you agree that this could be done in a different way with an even more positive outcome?

After writing about the things that scare me the other day and because I am off sick from work and need cheering up, I thought it would be nice to list all of  the things that bring me intense pleasure. You know, the simple things that most people don’t even bat an eyelid over usually. I’m also not talking about sexual stuff, this ain’t that kind of blog ;)

• Cold material between my fingers and toes. Especially satin. Once you’ve rubbed it warm you move along to a cool patch and continue. My favourite blanket as a little kid was called blue blankey and I rubbed its satin edges so much that they almost all wore away.


• A fresh nail colour. Especially when it’s a colour you don’t normally choose (for me they’re colours like red and blue) which look magnificent on you.


• Buying a new CD. I don’t care if downloading albums is the way of the future, I will never stop buying CDs and loving the feeling of getting it home, unwrapping it and playing it for the first time.


• New makeup. Especially when you get freebies! Because I use a lot of Clinique, I can usually time my purchases to when they have their Bonus Time which means heaps of cute sample-sized freebies. So there’s the joy of fresh, new makeup plus a bunch of other things in cute sized containers to test out.


• A favourite food that I haven’t had in a long while. I had this recently with a cheese sandwich. So simple but so rarely had and so damn delicious!


• New shoes! One of the greatest pleasures in life for almost any person. Both practical and beautiful to behold. I just bought an amazing new pair which I will post about later!


• A freshly cleaned house. Sometimes I can’t be bothered cleaning the whole house, so I will just clean a bathroom of vacuum the floors and then spend the next hour checking on how clean it is and feeling very accomplished. Having the whole house sparking means I get to strut around proudly for a good 2 to 3 hours at least.


• Going for a long walk on a beautiful day. I love nature and seeing it in all it’s glory on a lovely, warm day fills me with immense happiness. I reckon most mild depressions could be cured if people spent more time enjoying what nature has to offer. A beautiful sunset, butterflies and dragonflies flitting by, water trickling, leaves rustling in a light breeze, gorgeous flowers and the sound of kids playing in the distance.


• Finding something practical and boring like household appliances or sporting goods in PINK!

Tell me about the simple pleasures that fill you with joy.

Source

I don’t know why I keep ruining my day by reading news.com.au but once again I have stumbled upon an article, which by itself isn’t too bad, but then you read the comments and the blood starts to boil.

In this case, it’s one about gen Y and how they love tattoos.

Yeah, you can already picture the sorts of comments these white, middle-class idiots who have this over inflated sense of self importance and like to tell anyone who’ll listen why everything sucks make. As a matter of fact, some of these comments even shocked me, and I’ve read some pretty dreadful comments on that website. I admit the article was a bit lame (shock horror) and did make it seem like the types of Gen Y’s (fuck I hate this who Gen Y vs the world thing that’s happening at the moment) to get tattoos are all a bit daft and think they’re getting tattoos to express individuality when they’re really just following a trend. I get that and have always been annoyed at the idiots who get tattooed to be trendy, as they’re the ones who make those, like me, who really love tattoos look like idiots.

So apparently we’re now conformist whores (I’m not kidding, someone actually wrote that) and immature idiots who all get kanji and swirly butterfly, tribal tramp stamps who will undoubtedly want to have them all removed once we’re 35 because we changed our minds and don’t like them anymore. REALLY? I don’t even know how to respond to these sorts of ignorant opinions. Not without flipping my lid and calling them all a bunch of swear words, anyway. My mind boggles that people are so closed-minded about tattoos still. I mean, I’m not stupid, I know a lot of people still consider tattoos “rough” and employers consider them some sort of badge of unreliability so that you can’t get hired outside of JB HiFi if you dare show them off. But still, I thought that since its 2010 now, people might have stopped thinking like it’s 1985 and accepted the fact tattoos aren’t all that bad after all. HOW FOOLISH I AM!

So I am going to clear some of this up for any of those who still consider tattoos the mark of lazy, unreliable, crime-prone, conformist whores!

• Not everyone who gets tattooed gets something off the wall or “just because”. Most of us put a lot of thought into tattoos, get them designed and spend a lot of time deciding what we want permanently inked to our bodies. Anyone who goes and gets a bit of tribal or a cherry blossom are usually the kinds of people who don’t know anything about tattoos and probably will regret it later. If they don’t, then they’ll probably move on to well-thought out and meaningful tattoos once they’ve gotten over the thrill of getting their first tatt.


• Yes, there are a lot of crappy tattoos out there. Some are poorly executed or involve clichéd and “trendy” designs that will date pretty quickly. But if ever you see someone with what you consider a crap tattoo, that is your opinion. While that Ned Kelly sleeve I saw the other day made me cringe, that guy who had it probably loves it and has attributed a lot of meaning to it so you just can’t assume it was done on a whim or they’ll regret it when they’re older, because they probably won’t. Tattoos are subjective.


• Most people do not get stuff tattooed on themselves that they will get bored of or stop liking in a couple of years. I wonder how fickle these people are who ask “what if you don’t like that in two years?”, do they go through their lives only half-heartedly liking things and then get sick of them and hate them for the rest of their lives? People always ask me this when they see I have Harry Potter tattoos for example, as though I could ever stop loving those books. Look, if in 10 years time I decided I don’t like Harry Potter any more, I will still love my tattoos because they represent a time in my life when Harry Potter was a huge deal to me and will always remind me of those times. The only time when I’ll accept this argument is when a name of a boy/girl friend is tattooed and even then I don’t think it’s a huge deal, as long as you got it for the right reasons and still have fond memories of that person then who cares?


• Bad tattoos are kind of part of the fun of tattoos. If you’re really into tattoos and have a few of them, there will always be that tattoos that isn’t exactly great. You might not hate it and want it removed, but it’s definitely your least favourite and one you tend not to show to people when they ask to see your tattoos. Mine is on my forearm, of all silly places, and while it was done by my favourite artist in London, I’d been too shy to really tell him how I wanted it to look so it’s a bit crap in that sense and basically needs to be completely redone for it to look perfect. But I don’t hate it and would never get it removed. I wouldn’t even get it covered up either, because it now has a story behind it and I kind of love it in more of a sentimental sense than an aesthetic sense.


• Most people understand perfectly well that tattoos are forever and most people do not get theirs removed, no matter how much they’ve changed over the years. The kinds of people who get tattoos removed are the kinds of idiots who get some shitty piece of flash from the wall of their dodgy neighborhood tattooist for their 18th birthday or while completely smashed, and usually on a dumb-arse spot like their upper arm, shoulder or chest. These are the kids of people who never really wanted a tattoo but got one anyone, whether they were drunk or dared to, it doesn’t matter. They’re the kind of people who don’t deserve tattoos and why tattoo removal was invented. Poor Rebekah probably should have thought about how her wedding photos with Shane were going to look before she got that tiny red rose/ying & yang symbol tattooed on her shoulder blade/bicep!

While I acknowledge that there are idiots out there who get tattoos for the wrong reasons, most people choose well and get something they’ll cherish forever and don’t ever regret what they got. We of Gen Y have leaned from the mistakes of previous generations and don’t go about getting tacky little things done for the thrill of it. Most of us think long and hard about what we want and don’t all rush out and get one on our 18 birthdays or make stupid, life-altering decisions involving too much liquor and a mate who has a tattoo gun. The people who left those nasty comments about how people with tattoos are rotten people need to wake up and get a dose of reality. Tattoos don’t turn you into a bad person, but judging people harshly for having tattoos makes you a bad person.

As the famous saying goes, The only difference between a tattooed person and a person who isn’t tattooed is that a tattooed person doesn’t care if you’re tattooed or not.

I’m afraid I am going to have to get all serious and all up in your faces about something that has been floating around in Aussie news for a little while now. That awful thing known as rape and the scandals associated with it, particularly in regards to Australia footballers. If you’re not aware of what’s going on, a brief summary is that barely a day goes by when a high-profile football player from AFL or Rugby is accused of raping a girl after a boozy night out.

I have so much to say, so much so I am finding it hard to articulate myself, so please excuse any waffling, though I promise to avoid as much nonsensical ranting as I can since that always gets me into trouble, and I seriously can’t be arsed with it. First and foremost, there is never, ever an excuse for rape. It is one of the worst crimes I can imagine and never will there be a valid excuse for one human raping another (I also believe this applies to the animal kingdom but let’s leave that one for today). I do not care how the victim was dressed, how they acted, what they said or did or whatever; they do not deserve to be raped. I am even of the opinion that even if you’ve committed a horrendous crime, rape is not an acceptable retaliation. It is the most degrading act and serves only to hurt, humiliate and strip all power from the victim. There never has and never will be an excuse or justification for this atrocity and anyone who does not find the idea of rape unbearable or thinks it’s OK to joke about it deserves nothing more than contempt. And maybe a beating or two.

OK so now I have gotten that out of the way, I wanted to highlight some of my thoughts about these scandals and I guess the opinions people have about rape these days. First of all, rape ain’t a new thing that’s just popped up with the invention of TV or rap music. For as long as living creatures have been able to have intercourse, they have been able to rape or be raped. It’s impossible to work out when more rapes have occurred in history because it’s not like murder where there’s a dead body popping up (or to go completely missing without a trace). Rape probably exists a whole lot more than anyone could possibly imagine because most victims tend not to tell people, or at least not report it to authorities. And yet the way it’s portrayed in the media, you’d think it was this new, awful thing that’s a by-product of modern society. Of course the fact we all have so much more access to different news from all over the world thank to the internet helps one feel as though rapes happen more now than they ever did. Of course, maybe they do happen more nowadays than they used to, but we’ll never really know for sure.

I have a lot of mixed feelings about rape scandals involving celebrities. While I know the rick and famous have just as much ability to rape as any non-famous person, I always have this niggling thought that maybe the victim isn’t so much the victim and is actually the one doing the exploitation. It’s such a hard thing to think or talk about because it all comes down to their word against the alleged perpetrator and if you side with one or the other, you’re bound to get into a heated debate with whoever you voice your opinion to. After all, what if that girl was raped by that famous sportsman, you don’t want to assume she made it up for publicity because there’s still a good chance she actually was assaulted. This is why I guess all of these cases get so much media attention because nothing sells better than the combination of sex, crime, fame and the famous celeb vs the hapless victim. I’m not taking sides with either party because I feel sympathy for both because either one could be the victim. The girl who got raped vs the football player who had consensual sex with an eager fan. It’s a really, really messy situation.

I’ve read a tonne of debate over the idea of consent and how it’s affected by alcohol. Is it rape if the girl is wasted and can’t actually say yes, she wants sex but hasn’t said no either? But then if the guy is just as wasted, could he not also be in the same predicament where he was too inebriated to work out if the girl consented and just went along with whatever was happening in the bed at the time? It’s tough, because we all want someone to blame. In an ideal world the guy would realise how smashed the girl was and either send her home in a cab or if he took her home, let her sleep it off before attempting to shag. But this ain’t an ideal world and when a guy is drunk and horny and the girl he’s with seems to be DTF then he’s invariably going to sleep with her. If she said “No, I don’t want to have sex with you” then 99% of guys would stop, maybe curse their bad luck and jerk off in the shower. But there are still those guys who go through with it anyway, which is clearly rape. If the girl didn’t say no and seemed to enjoy the sex, but then woke up and realised what had happened though she couldn’t remember any/most of it and regretted it immediately, how is that classed as rape? According to most state’s laws it is because the girl was drunk and wasn’t able to give consent at the time. Most girls would just go home and feel like a total dickhead and maybe giggle about it with her good friends later but then there’s always those few who decide to make an example of the guy and cry rape, particularly when she has something to gain from it (ie. publicity). I hate the idea of this, and could never do this to someone no matter how much I hated them, but some people are idiots and willing to lie about something as horrific as rape for a little bit of attention.

I’m starting to get off track here and really haven’t come to my point…whatever that may be. Basically, rape is an awful thing but it happens. While a girl should be able to lie naked and spread-eagled on the footpath or wear a tiny skirt and dance provocatively with unknown strangers without being raped, rape is a very real thing and as sad as it is to say, women do need to watch themselves. I’m not saying we should all cover up, abstain from alcohol and wait for marriage, but we do have some responsibility for preventing sexual assault. Look at it this way, if you’re the kind of person who tends to get out of control when drinking and make some stupid mistakes like going home with questionable people or passing out in the street after losing all of your friends, then you need to re-evaluate your partying habits. Because while you do not deserve to be raped because you got trashed, dirty danced with some dodgy guys and acted like a bit of a sluzza all night, you need to be aware of the fact RAPE HAPPENS. If you keep putting yourself in dangerous situations then it becomes likely that something bad will happen to you eventually. When I drink, I get crippling migraines, so to fix this I do not drink very much anymore and do all I can to prevent migraines when I do decide to drink. Likewise, if you’re prone to going home with dodgy fuckwits when drinking, try to prevent the situation by drinking less or at least making sure your friends stay with you at all times. And for good measure, just avoid drinking with footy players in general as you never know, there could be a whole lotta truth behind those rape claims.

Rape can happen anywhere or any place, so don’t put yourself in a position where you might get raped when it can easily be avoided. For all non-partying situations (which is all I covered here tonight), all you can do is be aware, have a plan and for godsake, turn down your damn iPod when running through a park! Be aware and hopefully you will always be safe.

Pic source

I am not what most people would describe as a feminist. I enjoy being girly, I like to flaunt my magnificent boobs and I am constantly appalled that chivalry is dead. However, I do actually identify myself as a feminist. Oh don’t look at me like that, feminist is not a dirty word!

I am not a traditional sort of feminist by any means. I don’t go on rallies and I am not overly vocal about my beliefs, unless it involves a significant injustice against women, and I do not hate men. I do however believe very strongly in equal rights for females, something I do not believe we have yet achieved. That’s probably one of the reasons why I am a bit quiet about it, people take such offense to the idea of feminism, like women are lucky to be allowed the rights they have. The worst part is, a lot of women seem to agree with this way of thinking. I like to think they just don’t want to be labeled a feminist (like I said, people consider it to be a dirty word) but then again maybe a lot of women have the idea that they’re not quite as good as men deeply ingrained in them.

I only recently decided to start calling myself a feminist, in particular after reading a few blogs that were aimed at teenagers mostly, but I actually found a lot of the information on there really relevant to my feelings on the subject. I’ve always been the kind of person to get mad at anyone who claims (or even implies) women aren’t equal to men, and have had many heated arguments with people over sexist statements they’ve dared utter in my presence. But it wasn’t until reading some really good articles by these girls who identify as feminists who didn’t fall under the dreaded “feminazi” title that I actually decided to identify myself as a feminist. It’s a shame that I could never identify as one previously because I has this skewed idea of what feminism meant, and I’m sure it’s the same for most women. I think all women should be able to call themselves a  feminist, because there are different levels of belief in the cause (kind of like religion, some people are super devout while others believe without feeling the need to go to church).  All women should want to be equal to males in regards to human rights, work opportunities, sexuality etc.

One of the things that gets to me most is the difference in perception between males and females for doing the exact same thing. While I am naturally outraged by the idea of a male getting paid more for doing the same job as a female, just because of gender, it’s the smaller things that I feel don’t get voiced enough. An obvious example is the idea that a male can sleep with as many women as he wants and gets positive attention from other males while a female who does the same thing is no more than a “slut” (which is one of my most hated words, by the way). I hear guys often talk about how a promiscuous girl is a slut because she has one-night stands and has casual sex. When I interject and ask them how much casual sex they have, the fact they have a lot more than this poor girl doesn’t even matter. She sleeps around and that is disgusting and that is that. I’ve often asked how it differs between women and men, why can a man sleep with a hundred women and a woman sleep with say 20, and it be applauded for the male and found repulsive for the girl. There’s never a proper answer and usually comes down to the whole “women are not as superior as men” idea or the ridiculous belief that it’s dirtier for a woman to have had lots of penises in her than for a man to have stuck his dick in hundreds of vagina’s. And yet these guys will go buy a copy of FHM and ogle the featured girls (and possibly even fantasise about them)  and not even care that thousands of other men are doing the exact same thing. It’s bizarre.

And then there are things like how people think the worst of a girl who’s overweight and barely bat and eyelid over a guy who’s just as heavy. I’m sure the guy also gets his fare share of criticism for being large, but I find women get it much, much worse. The comments differ so much. “Wow that’s guy’s huge” vs “Check out that fat bitch”. It’s a weird one, but I do feel that fat girls are perceived far worse than fat guys. Then there’s the whole representation in the media, where almost everything can be sold with an attractive lady in the picture, regardless of the targeted demographic, bang a hot girl  in the ad and it’s gonna sell. Male-orientated advertising is going to be more sexual and in-your-face than advertising that’s aimed at women, but for the most part, it’s all about using a woman’s good looks and body to sell products and I think it’s sad. And my biggest gripe right now? The depiction of women who not only enjoy but actually get turned on by domestic violence. I have been noticing it in TV, film and even music videos lately and am shocked that it’s still tolerated. I also get riled by the women who suffer domestic violence, particularly against their famous boyfriends/husbands, and yet go back to them because it was “out of character”. I hope I do not have to explain how wrong, wrong, wrong this is.

I am not a man-hating lesbian as most feminists are perceived to be. I do not wear asexual clothing and hide my femininity because I feel I am exploiting myself for the benefit of men. I am a normal woman who loves makeup, dresses and the colour pink. I don’t demand or even want anything more than for women to have the same rights and respect as men get. I understand women have so much more available to them now than they ever did in the past, but I still feel women have a long way to go before a good level of equality is reached (I don’t excpect there will ever be such thing as total equality, not in my lifetime anyway). I just want people to accept the actions, desires and worthiness of women the same as they currently do for men.

There is so much more I could say on the subject, but I’d actually rather hear from other people about their ideas about feminism and whether you think there’s still gender inequality these days (namely in 1st world countries, as we all know gender inequality is rampant in many 3rd word nations). Tell me your thoughts, examples of gender inequality or whatever you’d like to contribute to the discussion.

Some interesting links:

Madonna syndrome: I should have ditched feminism for love, children and baking

Against the name Change: A Polemic

The F Bomb: Feminist Blog about Women’s Rights for Teenage Girls

The Sexual Behaviours of Women vs Men

Why modern feminism is illogical, unnecessary, and evil

What’s a Modern Girl to Do?

NOW VP To Sarah Palin and Conservative Women: Stop Being So Empowered, Darn It!

EDIT: Just wanted to clarify a few things. I am not attempting to justify myself by saying I am a girly girl who likes guys and wears makeup, as though trying to distance myself from the feminist stereotype. I am attempting to make a point that even though I do not conform to how people think a feminist ought to look or act, I am one and not ashamed to say so. I am aware the feminist stereotype exists for a reason, and so if you are offended by the fact I made a point of distancing myself from it, I apologise because that wasn’t my intention at all. I think all women of all walks of life should be able to call themself a feminist without thinking they’re going to be labled as something they’re not.

Also, I do not necessarily agree with the sentiments in some of those links, I just wanted to share a few that raised interesting points that helped prove what I was attempting to say. At least one of these is exactly the oppisite of how I feel but I wanted to show the “other side” of the debate.

Today is the end of an era. I just took out my snakebite piercings for the last time for my new job starting tomorrow. I considered keeping them by taking them out before work and then putting them back in when I got home but I have decided that it is time to get rid of them for good. I knew I got them after being in London for about a year but after some research I found the original Livejounal entry where I posted about them.

That there is me a day after they were pierced back on the 1st October 2005. Let me tell you, lip piercings HURT! It was absolute agony getting them pierced, which is probably why I kept them for so long. I found they healed pretty quickly and never really gave me any problems. Accidentally biting down on the backs hurts a fair bit but you quickly learn to avoid doing that too often! I had metal studs for ages before I discovered the ones with plastic backings where the diamante stud kind of clicks into the backs. They prevented any damage to my gums and almost never fell out. I found the balls on metal studs would always wind themselves undone and fall off which was always a huge pain in the arse. The only time I took my snakebites out was when one of them was giving me some grief, I’d give them a day to rest before putting them back in to make sure they didn’t start healing over.

It’s been almost five years since I got them pierced and it’s probably going to take me a while before I get used to the fact they’re gone. I’m worried they’ll leave nasty scars as most people I know who’ve taken out lip rings didn’t have the piercing all that long and still have small scars to show for them. But we’ll see how it goes!

Goodbye little snakebites! You’ve served me well and I was always proud of how you looked on me But time to grow up (albeit reluctantly) and move on to bigger and better things! And may I go back to being an excellent kisser once more!

I have a bit of a gripe with various people on the internet at the moment. “Oh what is it this time, Cara?” I hear you moan, and so I will tell you! Various bloggers have been having a bit of a whinge (by which I mean, are getting all of their underpants in massive knots over) some Frock Watch thing over at MamaMia.com.au which boggles my mind. I don’t really have much to do with that site except maybe having a quick squiz at it now and then whenever some shit storm is brewing because someone didn’t like something Mia Freedman wrote and so it wound up on some crap current affairs program or there was a bit of a hubbub on twitter about it. But this took my interest because of how passionate these girls were getting. Turns out it’s a case of people considering her commenting on the fashion of celebrities at various events to be WRONG and against her strong Body Image ethos. She doesn’t comment on any of the fashions as far as I can tell, but as people comment on them and can be kind of nasty sometimes, it’s apparently hurtful and turns women against each. Um, what?

I would love to live in a world where we can all appreciate one another for how we look and the different choices we make. But I am also a realist and know that unless we all get full frontal lobotomies or turn into those old fashioned depictions of the future where we all wear the same space-age outfits and look kind of the same, that ain’t going to happen. It goes against human nature not to comment on other people, be it in a negative or positive way. Expecting women to look at celebrities who are wearing dresses that cost as much as our cars and jewels that cost more than our houses and not have something to say is preposterous. If we don’t like what they’re wearing, we have every right to say so if we want to. It’s not very nice, and we all should learn to stop being so damn critical all the time, but it’s what most people do and it generally doesn’t hurt anyone because most of us whisper such comments to a friend, have a chuckle and move on with our lives.

Mia Freedman strives for women of realistic body shapes to be seen in magazines and on TV. She’s not campaigning for a world where anyone can wear whatever they want without someone out there not liking it. Give her a fucking break. We live in a world where terrible things happen everyday. There are entire countries and religions that force women to live like slaves to their husbands and wear clothing that ensure they do not look desirable to any other man. We live in a world where LGBT people aren’t allowed the most basic right of marriage and are often persecuted and in severe cases, killed for having the “wrong” sexuality. And yet here we have people getting so mad about something so trivial. Yes, someone making a snide remark about how they don’t like what some celebrity wore to an awards show is trivial and meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Because a) There are far more important thing to worry about in the world and b) The celeb’s don’t give a shit what we lowly common folk think, and even if they did I am sure they can dry their tears with their big wads of cash and buy a few Cartier diamonds to cheer themselves up!

When we live in a world where there’s no discrimination about race, gender, religion or sexuality then we can all go crazy and stop people from having opinions about what other women wear. If indeed that’s what you really want.

There’s nothing much boring than a person who’s all gung-ho about health and fitness and works out five days a week and actually uses their gym membership on top of exercising at home or going for jogs after work. I say this as one of those people. I used to always sling off at fitness freaks, mutter about how they need to go get a life and think about how much I was looking forward to sitting on the couch, watching TV and eating dinner later that evening while they recovered from an exhausting workout and ate a salad. And then I started exercising to lose weight, realised exercise actually made you feel really, really good and kind of got into it at some stage.

The difference between me and most of the people I see at the gym or when I got for a run is that I don’t get all “fitness jerk” about it. You know the kind of person I mean, they’re obsessed with exercise and make you feel bad because you don’t think about working out every minute of the day. They strut around the gym like they’re gods gift to whatever and flirt with the opposite sex by flexing their enormous muscles or showing off their perky butts by doing squats in the middle of the weights area. God I hate them!

You can love exercise and not be one of those creeps and I highly recommend it. You don’t have to do it for weight loss (though that’s obviously the main reason why people exercise at all) because the other benefits are boundless. Just by adding regular exercise to your weekly routine will improve your health and well being dramatically. I’m not talking about going for a slow half hour walk once a week either, I mean a proper work out where you sweat a lot and hurt at least a little bit the next day. You don’t have to sign up at the gym or get a personal trainer to do this, though I find have a gym membership motivates me since I refuse to waste money so make myself go as often as possible in order to make the membership fee worth it. If you can afford it though, a PT is great to get the ball rolling on your fitness and also teaches you how to exercise the areas you want to target (and then you can just keep it up by yourself). You really just need motivation and and someone to do it with, as nothing kills motivation to exercise faster than having to do it on your own all the time.

If you’re new to the world of frequent exercise I have a few tips to get you started (don’t I always?!):

• Get decent exercise gear, especially proper shoes to prevent leg and back pain/injury. Wear stuff that’s comfortable and breathable. For the ladies, you MUST get a decent sports bra. I went without one for years and then when I finally bought myself one I was SHOCKED by how much better I can exercise when my boobs aren’t bouncing around everywhere.


• Mix it up. Doing the same exercise/s day after day will bore you to death and will probably cause you to give up really quickly. Instead of the treadmill, go for a walk or run outside, it’s better for your body and you get to see the great outdoors for an hour or so, as opposed to someone’s sweaty back. Take classes, gyms have heaps and they’re free when you are a member! Classes keep you far more motivated than if you just tried to do the same level or exercise by yourself on the gym floor. Also work out a simple routine and build it up, don’t go to every gym class in a week, exhaust yourself and have to take another week to recover before you go back (if you even decide to go back).


• Start a sport. Nothing makes exercise more fun than team sport! It doesn’t have to be something traditional like soccer, after all pole dancing is now considered a sport and is a fantastic (and sexy) form of exercise. Martial arts gives you a cool skill (ie. kicking arse) while also being great exercise and can teach you a lot about self control and anger management. I personally started boxing a few months ago and my fitness is insane now, on top of my gaining strength and losing fat. I go to Brisbane Boxing in West End which I highly recommend if you’re in Brisbane and want to hurt like a bitch the day (sometimes days) after you go.


• If you hurt really badly the day (or days) after an intense workout, don’t give up, keep it up and get your body used to the pain. I know that sounds terrible, but it’s all about building up a resistance to the pain and making your muscles stronger (see the wiki article about DOMS for more info). The pain is worth it, I promise!

So I realise I sound like a massive exercise-fanatic-douchebag after writing this BUT regardless, I think people need to get moving more often, if not to lose weight then to get healthy and make yourself live longer and stop being such a lazy jerk. Nothing grinds my goat more than people who whinge about feeling fat when I know they probably haven’t done any half decent exercise since PE in high school. It’s gonna hurt at first and you’ll feel like a massive wanker when you first put on your fancy new gym gear and sprain a muscle in front of fitter, healthier and better looking people than you, but the end will make it ALLLL worth it. Trust me. You can thank me later when you get kick someone’s arse in a race or you have to rescue a damsel in distress or next summer when you fit in your old bikini or favourite dress.

Pretty sure I need this fancy boxing get up ;)