The One About Feminism

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I am not what most people would describe as a feminist. I enjoy being girly, I like to flaunt my magnificent boobs and I am constantly appalled that chivalry is dead. However, I do actually identify myself as a feminist. Oh don’t look at me like that, feminist is not a dirty word!

I am not a traditional sort of feminist by any means. I don’t go on rallies and I am not overly vocal about my beliefs, unless it involves a significant injustice against women, and I do not hate men. I do however believe very strongly in equal rights for females, something I do not believe we have yet achieved. That’s probably one of the reasons why I am a bit quiet about it, people take such offense to the idea of feminism, like women are lucky to be allowed the rights they have. The worst part is, a lot of women seem to agree with this way of thinking. I like to think they just don’t want to be labeled a feminist (like I said, people consider it to be a dirty word) but then again maybe a lot of women have the idea that they’re not quite as good as men deeply ingrained in them.

I only recently decided to start calling myself a feminist, in particular after reading a few blogs that were aimed at teenagers mostly, but I actually found a lot of the information on there really relevant to my feelings on the subject. I’ve always been the kind of person to get mad at anyone who claims (or even implies) women aren’t equal to men, and have had many heated arguments with people over sexist statements they’ve dared utter in my presence. But it wasn’t until reading some really good articles by these girls who identify as feminists who didn’t fall under the dreaded “feminazi” title that I actually decided to identify myself as a feminist. It’s a shame that I could never identify as one previously because I has this skewed idea of what feminism meant, and I’m sure it’s the same for most women. I think all women should be able to call themselves a  feminist, because there are different levels of belief in the cause (kind of like religion, some people are super devout while others believe without feeling the need to go to church).  All women should want to be equal to males in regards to human rights, work opportunities, sexuality etc.

One of the things that gets to me most is the difference in perception between males and females for doing the exact same thing. While I am naturally outraged by the idea of a male getting paid more for doing the same job as a female, just because of gender, it’s the smaller things that I feel don’t get voiced enough. An obvious example is the idea that a male can sleep with as many women as he wants and gets positive attention from other males while a female who does the same thing is no more than a “slut” (which is one of my most hated words, by the way). I hear guys often talk about how a promiscuous girl is a slut because she has one-night stands and has casual sex. When I interject and ask them how much casual sex they have, the fact they have a lot more than this poor girl doesn’t even matter. She sleeps around and that is disgusting and that is that. I’ve often asked how it differs between women and men, why can a man sleep with a hundred women and a woman sleep with say 20, and it be applauded for the male and found repulsive for the girl. There’s never a proper answer and usually comes down to the whole “women are not as superior as men” idea or the ridiculous belief that it’s dirtier for a woman to have had lots of penises in her than for a man to have stuck his dick in hundreds of vagina’s. And yet these guys will go buy a copy of FHM and ogle the featured girls (and possibly even fantasise about them)  and not even care that thousands of other men are doing the exact same thing. It’s bizarre.

And then there are things like how people think the worst of a girl who’s overweight and barely bat and eyelid over a guy who’s just as heavy. I’m sure the guy also gets his fare share of criticism for being large, but I find women get it much, much worse. The comments differ so much. “Wow that’s guy’s huge” vs “Check out that fat bitch”. It’s a weird one, but I do feel that fat girls are perceived far worse than fat guys. Then there’s the whole representation in the media, where almost everything can be sold with an attractive lady in the picture, regardless of the targeted demographic, bang a hot girl  in the ad and it’s gonna sell. Male-orientated advertising is going to be more sexual and in-your-face than advertising that’s aimed at women, but for the most part, it’s all about using a woman’s good looks and body to sell products and I think it’s sad. And my biggest gripe right now? The depiction of women who not only enjoy but actually get turned on by domestic violence. I have been noticing it in TV, film and even music videos lately and am shocked that it’s still tolerated. I also get riled by the women who suffer domestic violence, particularly against their famous boyfriends/husbands, and yet go back to them because it was “out of character”. I hope I do not have to explain how wrong, wrong, wrong this is.

I am not a man-hating lesbian as most feminists are perceived to be. I do not wear asexual clothing and hide my femininity because I feel I am exploiting myself for the benefit of men. I am a normal woman who loves makeup, dresses and the colour pink. I don’t demand or even want anything more than for women to have the same rights and respect as men get. I understand women have so much more available to them now than they ever did in the past, but I still feel women have a long way to go before a good level of equality is reached (I don’t excpect there will ever be such thing as total equality, not in my lifetime anyway). I just want people to accept the actions, desires and worthiness of women the same as they currently do for men.

There is so much more I could say on the subject, but I’d actually rather hear from other people about their ideas about feminism and whether you think there’s still gender inequality these days (namely in 1st world countries, as we all know gender inequality is rampant in many 3rd word nations). Tell me your thoughts, examples of gender inequality or whatever you’d like to contribute to the discussion.

Some interesting links:

Madonna syndrome: I should have ditched feminism for love, children and baking

Against the name Change: A Polemic

The F Bomb: Feminist Blog about Women’s Rights for Teenage Girls

The Sexual Behaviours of Women vs Men

Why modern feminism is illogical, unnecessary, and evil

What’s a Modern Girl to Do?

NOW VP To Sarah Palin and Conservative Women: Stop Being So Empowered, Darn It!

EDIT: Just wanted to clarify a few things. I am not attempting to justify myself by saying I am a girly girl who likes guys and wears makeup, as though trying to distance myself from the feminist stereotype. I am attempting to make a point that even though I do not conform to how people think a feminist ought to look or act, I am one and not ashamed to say so. I am aware the feminist stereotype exists for a reason, and so if you are offended by the fact I made a point of distancing myself from it, I apologise because that wasn’t my intention at all. I think all women of all walks of life should be able to call themself a feminist without thinking they’re going to be labled as something they’re not.

Also, I do not necessarily agree with the sentiments in some of those links, I just wanted to share a few that raised interesting points that helped prove what I was attempting to say. At least one of these is exactly the oppisite of how I feel but I wanted to show the “other side” of the debate.

Madonna syndrome: I should have ditched feminism for love, children and baking

A REAL POST OMG!

Aaaah I am finally going to admit I have totally neglected LJ and it ain't going to change. I can't believe it, LJ was such a huge part of my life for so long and now I go for months without checking my flist and if it wasn't for my blog I'd update even less often.

So what's been happening that I don't want to blog about. Hmmm well I am loving my job! I go to work, do my thing extremely efficiently and go home feeling happy! HOW AMAZING IS THAT??? It's not too hard but I am still challenged at times. It's not creative per say but I get to listen to the radio and sing along all day which is GREAT! I have to dress corporate but it's pretty lenient and I actually like dressing up for work as it turns out (my workmates reckon I could get away with my corporate tutu but I'll leave it for now). I don't have to be super chirpy all the time like that last job, and no one cares if I don't say good morning to everyone I go near. BUT because I am so much happier I actually WANT to say good morning to people! SHOCK! It's just so good, and my pay is awesome. Being paid monthly is working for me just fine and I am getting paid so much more than my last two jobs. Guys, I am so happy!

In other startling news, everything is running so smoothly for this years Brisbane Zombie Walk! Remember last year how I was a nervous wreck about it because Anthony and I fought CONSTANTLY? Well I have finally overcome my scattterbrained procrastination issues by writing down notes and taking everything in my stride. By doing so Anthony can't get angry at me for slacking off and so we barely have had any fights about the walk and we have received SO MANY DONATIONS! In fact we have had 2x $5000 corporate sponsorships! And we're nearing $1000 from participants making donations when registering! OMG I am so delighted with how well it's going. THIS is how it was meant to be all along and I am so glad I stuck with it. I still don't know what kind of zombie I will be though :/

Speaking of Anthony, all is well. We have our usual fights but nothing too major and we get along really well almost all of the time. I love him dearly and am glad things are doing so well. This is my favourite photo of us, taken a couple of weeks ago (I admit it's mostly because I look great, but I think he looks good too):


I guess my only concerns right now are health and they ain't too bad. I am going to have a to see a doctor about my bladder woes soon. It's just getting ridiculous how weak my bladder has become. It's not like I had a baby or anything! It's so embarrassing but I need to get this sorted in case I DO want babies. Imagine that, I'd have to wear diaper like my child :( I am also finding myself very fatigued a lot of the time but I know 90% of it is how I stay up til midnight and get up by 7am five days a week. I used to be such a sleeper but now I am always so busy with work, gym, zombie walk and socialising I am way too stimulated to sleep before midnight. I need to start working on it though, it's no good to be so tired all the time and needing to drink energy drinks to cope each day.

In outside body stuff, I am getting hair extensions done soon! I've wanted to give them a go for ages, and I found them online and mum's happy to do them so I'll have crazy-long hair within a month! Damn right they'll be pink! In regards to my lip piercings, the damn things haven't closed up and I fear I will have the scars for life. No one seems to notice them though so it's not that bad. I do miss my piercings sometimes but life has become little easier without worrying about them anymore (damn things would get hooked up on so much stuff, I now realise). Weight-wise I am still the same, exercising heaps and watching what I eat and trying way out new methods of weight loss. I doubt this will ever change for me. But I am super fit and healthy now so it ain't all bad.

OK time for bed!!!! Please don't hate/defriend me for being so shit with LJ. I love you all, I swear! Until later! Adios!