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Once again, I’m not sure why I waste my time reading the so-called articles on because I get far too angry. And that’s before I even get to the reader comments! Today’s little gem is the article about a three year old getting swooped by a magpie, who may or may not lose some/all vision in one eye as the magpie wasn’t deterred by the child’s yells. There’s been a fair bit of publicity about swooping magpies this season, and naturally there are two distinct sides as to what to do about it.

The comments on this particular article are a fine example of the two vastly different opinions. On one hand, some share my view that this is what happens every year for as long as these birds have existed and that you need to be cautious when in an area known to contain nesting magpies. After all, this only happens for just over one month a year (between late-August early-October), so it shouldn’t be such a big deal that we keep away from affected areas or at least wear appropriate headwear when passing through.

But no, the jerks all come out, declaring them to be a horrible pest who maim and kill our precious children, so they must all be culled so we can live in peace. Never mind the fact there’s only ever been reports of one kid dying from a magpie attack back in 1946 and that was from tetanus. A kid died from being hit by a car after being swooped by a magpie last year, but the magpie didn’t intend for that to happen, he just wanted to protect his territory. But nah, that’s not good enough, and won’t somebody PLEASE think of the CHILDREN??!!

Look, it sucks for anyone who’s been hurt by a magpie. Personally I’ve never been attacked and as far as I’m aware, never even been swooped. I lived in the country for the first 9 years of my life, and then on the back of a huge park next to a creek, surrounded by bushland until I was in my early 20s. I visit my mum every other week and we go on long walks in various parks and I’ve never been attacked once (I have been swooped by plovers but I was trying to spy on the cute little babies and I carried a branch above my head, so I knew what I was in for). In fact I can only think of one person ever claiming to have been hurt while being swooped and while it did draw some blood, he had no real misgivings about it because that’s what happens in Australia this time of year. FANCY THAT!

My fear is that the boon’s will all be out trying to kill poor magpie’s after this extra publicity and so hundreds of innocent birds will be tortured because one kid got a peck in the eye in Toowoomba. I was horrified when I heard about how many flying foxes were killed, tortured, mutilated and left to die because of the Hendra virus scare we had in Queensland a few months ago, just because horses can catch the virus from bat poop which affected about four humans and a dog. I dread to think how many magpies will be harmed as a result of this “bad press”.

Anyway, my comment got published (which is rare for me, my comments rarely make the cut) and fortunately most of the commenters seem to be against culling these magnificent birds as well.

Cara Rage 001

Thursday, 1 September 2011 21:57
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It has struck me that the greatest term ever invented, “Cara Rage” has never really been used properly on my blog! Sacrilege! So from now on, my ragey, things-that-piss-me-off posts will be called CARA RAGE!

Included in things that have enraged me this week:


I work in the CBD of Brisbane City, so I know there are always people around collecting money for various charities and organisations.  Many of them have regular hangout’s, so if I’m in a hurry I know where to avoid. I’m not a total bastard though, I do donate when I have spare change and am not feeling my usual money woes. Most of them are pretty decent and don’t harass or target you especially when it’s clear you’re in a rush.

The Oxfam ones though, oooh they drive me insane. They’re not around every day, so you have a few days or even weeks to forget about them. But then BAM, there they are, all six of them on each street corner of the intersection you need to cross, armed with compliments to disarm you and then they beg for a moment of your time to reel you in. Plus they’re all smiley and chirpy and way to pipper for a cold an overcast morning and they TARGET you from afar so you have to keep walking towards them, knowing they’re going to POUNCE.

Look, I understand that is one of the worst jobs all times (I once tried something similar when desperate in London but just couldn’t hack the rejection) but it is really fucking annoying because you either have to stop and pretend to care or else look like a total jerk and brush them off. I don’t need that while powering through the City to run errands, I already feel like a big enough twat for not buying the Big Issue from every vendor I pass so PLEASE stop ruining my day with guilt trips, Oxfam!


So the Economist Intelligence Unit revealed this week that the most livable city in the world is Melbourne. Vancouver has topped the list for a number of years but is now #3 while Melbourne takes top place. It’s not a surprise, Melbourne is a wonderful City and if it wasn’t for my family and friends being up here, I’d move down there in a flash. Sydney is also on there at #7 while Perth and Adelaide both take out the 8th position. So where’s Brisbane? NUMBER BLOODY 21, THAT’S WHERE! Considering how the slogans for Brisbane and Queensland have always been about how livable and perfect it is up here, we’re pretty shit, if you ask me.

Brisbane, you have so much work to do to make the top 10 of that list. I don’t know what criteria these guys use to rank a city’s livability but I have a fair idea of where Brisbane let everyone down. How about the high cost of living we have up here vs the lack of entertainment available most days of the week. How about how all of our restaurants close by about 9pm so if you want to go out for a meal after 10pm, it’s greasy fast food or cheap Asian or nothing. What about the fact the Valley, our entertainment district, is a smelly, dirty hell hole by day and a drunken, noisy mess on Friday and Saturday nights? There’s plenty of bitch about, but the bottom line is, we’re still a big Country Town that isn’t coping with how many people keep moving up here from the southern states so rent is ridiculous and the average salary does not reflect our high cost of living! Well…in my case anyway.

I am very fond of Brisbane and love living here, but it needs to get its act together. The only thing we have to boast about to other states is the Worlds’s Biggest Zombie Walk (which will be official after the walk in October, just so you know)!


This is my 2nd cold of the season and I’VE HAD IT. Life is too short to spend 2-3 weeks of the year feeling like a snot monster, coughing and sneezing everywhere and being unable to function properly. I also miss having makeup on/around my nose :(


I just saw a few examples of this during my walk through the City yesterday, much to my horror. Firstly, let’s be honest, you haven’t actually ever worn those shoes for their intended purpose (ie. running) before, have you ? Secondly, have you NO TASTE? I admit I occasionally wear my ugly, white walking shoes to and from work with my work clothes but it is with great shame and literally because it hurts my back to wear my usual flats for such a long distance. I actually realised how dreadful the look was after a short while though and now wear my wicked-cool Vans instead. Not as comfy, but so much better looking.

I see people wearing their graying, out-of-style runners as actual fashion staples and it makes me want to die. If you’re that obsessed with comfort, get a pair of something colourful and fashionable (like these magnificent specimens). Never, ever wear white running shoes out in public unless you are exercising!

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I am sick to death of hearing about Charlie Sheen. If it’s not in the news, it’s all over my damn Facebook feed. Charlie Sheen the party animal, at it again. He does drugs, parties hard, has sex with lots of women and he’s a famous actor. I have disliked the man for a few years now and I totally blame Two and a Half Men for it. My god, that show is such utter balls, I don’t understand how so many people actually like it so much. It’s about an alcoholic douchebag, his neurotic retard of a brother and a fat turd of a kid with the worst hair cut of all times. Then I realised the character Charlie Sheen is playing isn’t so much a “character” as Charlie Sheen just being himself on the small screen. Ugh!

If I see one more status or tweet about how great it would be to go out partying with Charlie Sheen, I will scream and probably not hold back with my anti-Charlie Sheen rants. I can only imagine that if friends of mine who are smart sorts of people think he’s a top bloke, then there are lot of brain-dead dickheads out there who think he’s the best thing to have happened in the entire history of mankind.

If you think Charlie Sheen is great and think it would be great to go out partying with him, allow me to remind you of some painful truths about the man. He is addicted to drugs. He pays for escorts to party with him. He is a misogynist who is extremely violent towards the women in his life. He is in his mid-40s and acts like he’s 20. The dude gets paid obscene amounts of money to play himself on TV and then gets his stupid arse busted by going on a bender and locking a women in a closet while he smashes up the room. Now he’s in rehab and is costing the show hundreds of thousands of dollars because they’ve had to halt production. And yet those stupid TV exec wankers just keep putting up with it. Why? because morons everywhere think he’s “livin’ the dream”. Check out this little fact I found on a celebrity facts site:

“A little known fact about Charlie Sheen is, he was subpoenaed to testify in the “Hollywood Madam” Heidi Fleiss trial in 1993. Sheen testified he called on Fleiss’ call girls on a regular basis spending more than $50,000 on their services. Reportedly, Sheen was a Cocaine addict at this time.”

Wow, what a classy gent. How about the fact he “accidentally” shot his then-fiancee Kelly Preston in the arm in 1990 and has been accused of/charged with assult on all of his former girlfriends/wives. I’m not quite sure why these women willingly get into a relationship with this man, but I guess “Charlie Sheen mania” pulled the wool over their eyes til he beat it right off  ‘em again. He’s been arrested for drug use and possession and sent to rehab a bunch of times, he OD’s after injecting himself with cocaine and almost died and yet never seems to have learned a thing. But why would he, he’s “the man” and keeps getting work and never has to serve any real time.

He is not “living the dream” and he’s not “the man”. He’s seriously troubled and is only getting away with it out of sheer luck and because he’s rich and famous. If he wasn’t who he is and was poor and living on the streets like the typical drug addict, would everyone be so keen to party with him then? Do you think those addicts you see dancing to music no one else can hear are awesome party animals? Do you want to spend a wild night out with them? Of course not. Money apparently makes miserable sacks of crap more appealing. Yuck.

I’m sure I’m going to get a tonne of angry comments from boon’s who think he’s the greatest. I don’t care because I am sick of how he’s worshiped like a god when he ought to be behind bars. If a normal civilian like you or me did half of the shit he’s done, we would be in jail and looked down on by the rest of society. Do yourselves a favour and stop acting like he’s cool. You’re just condoning the actions of a violent and pathetic man who has to pay women to hang out with him and will probably die from an overdose in a hotel room at the age of 50.

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Once again I have been angered by a news article found on (I really don’t know why I read that damn website, it send me into a furious rage almost every time I do). Today it’s about the loss of “female” skills within Gen Y. I started typing this massive rant but when it started getting a bit tl;dr I decided to cut it down as much as possible. So without further ado, here is why I think the idea of Gen Y losing these so called “female skills” is a bit of bollocks.

Yes, a lot of Gen Y females do not know how to properly hem a skirt, whip up a roast or a batch of lamingtons and aren’t probably as good at ironing and scrubbing floors as their grandmothers were. In case you missed the memo, times have changed dramatically in the last couple of decades. Women aren’t expected to stay at home and watch the kids and do all the tedious house work while hubby brings home the bacon. In fact a lot of women, even those who have kids, have to go out and work to support their families. Suddenly the typical woman doesn’t have all this “free” time on her hands because she’s out working every day, just like her partner, in order to provide a comfortable life for herself and her family.

If you want to be good at anything, you need practice, and the life of the average female these days doesn’t allow for what this article seems to think are basic female skills. Sure, it’d be nice to not have to spend $30 on getting a hem done up by a tailor and it’d be great to be able to whip up a fancy dinner every night, but most women don’t have the time for that sort of thing any more. Not every woman has the need to grow plants from cuttings and because of how cars are these days, having a manual license is not that important any more. Even if we’re shown how to do this stuff (from parents or in high school Home Economics), our lack of need to utilise these skills means we soon forget how to do them. I mean, if you live in a unit in the City, why would you need to know how to operate a whipper snipper?

Look, I think everyone, not just female, should know a lot of these basic skills. Sewing and cooking will always be invaluable, knowing how to check the car if it’s low on oil or being able to start a mower are also equally good to know. But clearly the parents of these apparently “hopeless” Gen Y’s decided these skills weren’t important enough to hand down to many of the people of my generation and so a lot of this knowledge has disappeared. As a result there are plenty of ways we can overcome the fact we lack these skills and our lives really aren’t that badly affected by it.

As it turns out, the article itself wasn’t what angered me the most, but the comments by the douchebag chauvinists commenting on it. All I’m going to say is, if you expect your girlfriend/wife to come home after a long day at work and iron your goddamn shirts then you are a pig and deserve to have that iron shoved somewhere nasty. Women shouldn’t be confined to these old-fashioned chores if they don’t want to. If a women is happy to work all day then come home to cook dinner, do the laundry and clean the house then that’s her choice. But if you expect her to do it just because it’s a “female skill” then you need to check the date and realise it’s 2011, not 1955. Likewise, if you don’t like how your wife is a stay-at-home mum and doesn’t have the house spic and span when you come home from work, perhaps you should stay home and change shitty nappies and entertain your screaming, messy whirlwinds of destruction for once and see how you feel like doing the dishes or ironing!

Personally I was brought up to learn all of these skills, and my mum still teaches me new things constantly. I have a new sewing machine which she’s giving me lessons on, I mow her lawn all the time and have fixed her mower a couple of times and thanks to her teachings I am an OK cook, even though I don’t like cooking much at all. But that’s me, and given the fact I live where I live and have an extremely busy life, I don’t need to know these things. I just choose to and that’s my right, as it is to anyone who chooses not to learn these sometimes old-fashioned and unnecessary skills.

And to conclude this rant, here is Beyonce being the damn finest housewife ever (but not being very happy about it, which is damn well fair enough):

Originally published at
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I have the dreadful track record of everything going wrong on a Monday. Today was a total doozie. I’m a firm believe in getting stuff of your chest to help make you feel better so let me tell you about how my day started:

After forcing myself out of bed at a reasonable time (I’ve been sleeping in a lot lately and decided this week would be different) I got ready without too much fuss. As I got up a but earlier I had just enough time to make a decent breakfast… except TWO lots of milk were randomly off (and chunky to boot, uuggghh) followed by the discovery that my fancy new bread was now hosting what I can only assume was the start of a new civilisation (aka nasty ass mould).  After I sort that mess out, I’m now about to run late so end up having a rushed and unsatisfactory breakkie before realising I’m now running late. I run down to my car, since I have been transferred to an office where there’s no public transport (don’t even get me started about that) only to get stopped and abused for ten minutes for parking somewhere I shouldn’t park (my bad, but man ten freaking minutes it lasted). So I’m late to work where I discover I left my packed lunch on my bed. FFFFUUUUUUU!!!

But I’m not one to dwell too much and have lots of cool stuff coming up to take my mind of what was possibly the worst Monday of 2010. For example, festival season is upon us with Stereosonic this weekend. I’ll be the sweaty girl checking your tickets, in case you’re going to the one in Brisbane, so try not to look like too much of a douche or else I may not let you in ;) But seriously, I am looking forward to December for all of the festivals, my Vampire-themed birthday party (yes I still do theme parties and always will) and having a week off over Christmas and New Years to relax at my mum’s place and then party party PARTY!

What are your plans for the last month of 2010?

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Please note, the above video is NSFW and contains lots of close up shots of female genitalia and frank discussions about vaginas and how they’re depicted in the media.

Now that you’ve watched the video, how do you feel? I hope you feel outraged, regardless of your gender or your thoughts on pornography or anything relating to the female reproductive area. I hope that you understood the point of this video and feel as horrified as I do about how a normal vagina is considered unattractive or too vulgar if shown in its full glory. So much so it has to be chopped up (both literally and figuratively) to look nice and acceptable in soft porn magazines. Well, as far as the Classification board is concerned, anyway!

I will admit right now, and I am not proud of this, but I had given thought to getting a designer vagina. I don’t know why, possibly just because it sounds so cool: designer vagina. But after watching that video I am just aghast that having a bit of flesh poking out down there is considered obscene enough to have to hide. No wonder women have shitty self esteems about their bodies these days, no wonder so many men have these ridiculous expectations of how a women is meant to look… look at what imagery we’re constantly being bombarded with about what the ideal female body is “supposed” to look like. And yet I am shocked to realise it’s not even the media who’s really at fault, it’s bloody censorship! How dare a bunch of prudish arseholes who probably haven’t had a leg over in years, tell me my pookie is disgusting and ought to be concealed within my labia majora?!

After watching that video though, I also feel liberated! Here I was thinking my girl down there was a bit too much of an outie but in actual fact she’s a cute little thing that other women might even be envious of (until they saw this video of course, because then they’d appreciate their own for being unique and lovely, just as it is). So as much as I like to say designer vagina, I will never ever get myself “fixed” up down there because it’s mine and it’s beautiful just as she is!

Originally published at
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I am opposed to downloading movies. Not just because it’s illegal and stops Tom Cruise from getting millions of dollars that he really doesn’t deserve, but because this new phenomena of being able to download movies the minute they’re released now means cinemas are packed full of the idiots who lack the intelligence to download movies or just have nothing better to do. I admit I still go to the cinemas to see movies because I like seeing movies on the big screen with good surround sound. While we have a projector at home with an OK sound set up, District 9 kicked about 10,000x more arse when I saw it at the movies. I also enjoy getting out of the house now and then and very much love cinema popcorn and frozen soft drinks. But sadly, despite the numerous episodes of Seinfeld that taught so many people the basic etiquette of going to the movies, people become massive douchebag’s when they go to the movies. Here are my tips for a better movie-going experience:


This should be a no-brainer but I am always missing important parts of movies because someone decides to tear open a packet of malteasers during a quiet or tense part of the film. And it’s never a clean tear, it involves a lot of plastic bag wrinkling and commotion and then the inevitable “hand is too big for the opening so instead of shaking the foods into my hand I’m just gonna cram my hand in there, rustle and scrunch the plastic as my fat hand tries to grab as big a handful as possible and generally make more noise than a Boeing 747”.


OK so I know popcorn is not exactly a quiet snack and I also know that it’s crazily addictive and you can’t just eat one piece at a time, you just have to shovel it in like you’re getting paid for it. But you don’t have to scratch around for a handful of popcorn for three minutes, only to come away with six pieces and a heap of unpopped kernels to show for it. Grab the damn handful in one swoop without shifting all the popcorn around the box and getting your grubby fingers all over the goods. Whether your hand is in there for one second or five minutes, you’re going to come away with the same amount so do it quietly and quickly, please!


I am the worst for wanting to talk during movies, but as I am in a big room full of people who paid good money to watch the same film as me, I bite my tongue and make sure to whisper very quietly if I absolutely have to say something. Shame so few pay this common courtesy back though! Whatever possesses people to have conversations about what’s happening in the film (or sometimes whatever the hell else they have to talk about) in normal voices or in half-arsed whispers that are about half a decibel lower than their normal outdoors voice and then have the audacity to get the shits when I turn around and tell them to pipe down… I just do not know. Save the commentary for when you buy the DVD and take the hint when half the cinemas is turning around and glaring at you.


Have you ever gone and seen a movie and had wankers start clapping at the end? WHAT THE HELL? What, did the director walk in while I wasn’t looking? Is this the film premiere that I inadvertently walked into? No? Then stop clapping. I don’t know why I take such offense to this but I seem to hate clapping in general since it’s not warranted 95% of the time. Especially at the movies.


Have you noticed how everyone decides they will leave the moment the credits appear in a vain attempt to beat everyone else at leaving the cinema? Have you also noticed how this never works and you have a traffic jam down the aisles (where assholes won’t let you out of your row) and everyone ends up leaving at the exact same time in a slow shuffle? Yeah, thought so.


If the movie is that boring, fuck off already. Sitting there, texting on your phone so that everyone around you is blinded and/or distracted by the bright light from your screen is rude and obnoxious as hell. I know I am totally a value-for-money kinda gal, so will stay and watch a movie all the way through to make my $16 worthwhile, but if you tear away your eyes from your douchey bloody iPhone for two hours, you need help yo!

These really are the basics and I could go on and on. God only knows why I bother going to the movies considering how annoying the general public are. It’s like some people just become massive fuckwits as soon as they walk into a movie theatre. I mean really, do you need to wrap your chip packet back up every single time to get a chip out, so that you have to unwrap it a minute later to get the next one??? Can you honestly not tell your friend to shut up and stop asking so many stupid, loud questions? It seems to me these things seem pretty straight forward, but I guess it’s like how you instantly become a dumb arse as soon as you’re a customer, people just seem to lose their shit the moment then walk into the cinemas.

And thus concludes my random, angry rant for the week!

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I just realised I have not had a good rant on my blog for a while now. I am not feeling particularly ragey tonight but there are a few things on my mind that I thought I should make public.

1. People who misuse the word emo. For the record, that’s most people. It drives me nuts that people use it as an insult against anyone remotely alternative when they seem to be feeling an emotion other than happiness. I get called an emo a fair bit but I don’t get too mad at people because I understand I do have the main traits of the typical emo. But then I see people calling friends who are so far removed from the emo subculture getting told to “stop being so emo” when they’re sad or angry about something. In this example I’m talking about a friend who is indie. I don’t expect everyone to know the difference between all subcultures (because god knows I don’t and I’m pretty cluey about that sort o thing) but you do sound like a total knob when you call someone an emo who very clearly isn’t. It’s not 2003 any more, it’s not a new term that you can sound clever by using, so get it right or shut up!

OK so this isn’t the best example of emo’s vs indie kids but it’ll do to prove my point. If Bill Kaulitz on the let there is acting sad, then you reserve the right to call him an emo (also a girl, but that’s for another rant). The people on the right, while a bit douchey and also prone to sulking are clearly indie kids (aka hipsters) and so calling them “emo” is inappropriate. It’s like how anyone who wore black back in the day got called a goth when nine times out of ten they were anything but goth. God I hated those times.

2. Facebook fanatics. It shits me that people rely so heavily on Facebook for all of their information. I had some jerk getting all snippy about not getting a reply to his Facebook comment when the information he sought could have been found very easily elsewhere. People need to chill the fuck out about Facebook, it’s not the be-all-end-all  and is certainly not a very good resource or getting news and information. There’s this other  site called Google, learn how to use it!

3. Pedestrians. I don’t know if they’re getting worse lately or I’ve just been missing out on all of their stupidity for so long. Or maybe I have just become more aware o the stupid things pedestrians do that almost gets them killed so often. The other day my friend and I were driving in the City and we almost hit some young Asian dude in a suit who was walking on the road next to his mates on a blind corner. We beeped him but he just shot us this look of disdain like we were the ones doing something wrong. Fuck man, we’re in a car and you’re a sack of meat with nothing to protect you but that fancy suit you’re wearing. Guess who’d win this battle? I see people running in front of cars on Friday and Saturday nights down on the street where I live all the time. It shocks me that I haven’t seen someone get killed because there’s no looking, there’s just a mad dash across the road and the hope that you’ll beat the car who’s coming right for you. These kinds of people are the ones who deserve to get run over but never do.

4. The cost of movie tickets. I go to the movies a lot and I’m constantly shocked and appalled at how much it costs to go see a movie these days. I went and saw Toy Story 3 last night it cost $20! Admittedly it was a last minute thing and I had to pay an extra $1 for 3D glasses but hell! There are some cinemas that charge a lot less but you usually have to get your tickets hours in advance and then line up or an hour to get a good seat. It’s no wonder so many people download movies these days! On the plus side though, Toy Story 3 was pretty fucking good.

Aaaand that’s me done bitching for now! Stay tuned for some proper posts real soon!

Originally published at
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Stop Being So Damn PC

Wednesday, 9 June 2010 15:42
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I have a bit of a gripe with various people on the internet at the moment. “Oh what is it this time, Cara?” I hear you moan, and so I will tell you! Various bloggers have been having a bit of a whinge (by which I mean, are getting all of their underpants in massive knots over) some Frock Watch thing over at which boggles my mind. I don’t really have much to do with that site except maybe having a quick squiz at it now and then whenever some shit storm is brewing because someone didn’t like something Mia Freedman wrote and so it wound up on some crap current affairs program or there was a bit of a hubbub on twitter about it. But this took my interest because of how passionate these girls were getting. Turns out it’s a case of people considering her commenting on the fashion of celebrities at various events to be WRONG and against her strong Body Image ethos. She doesn’t comment on any of the fashions as far as I can tell, but as people comment on them and can be kind of nasty sometimes, it’s apparently hurtful and turns women against each. Um, what?

I would love to live in a world where we can all appreciate one another for how we look and the different choices we make. But I am also a realist and know that unless we all get full frontal lobotomies or turn into those old fashioned depictions of the future where we all wear the same space-age outfits and look kind of the same, that ain’t going to happen. It goes against human nature not to comment on other people, be it in a negative or positive way. Expecting women to look at celebrities who are wearing dresses that cost as much as our cars and jewels that cost more than our houses and not have something to say is preposterous. If we don’t like what they’re wearing, we have every right to say so if we want to. It’s not very nice, and we all should learn to stop being so damn critical all the time, but it’s what most people do and it generally doesn’t hurt anyone because most of us whisper such comments to a friend, have a chuckle and move on with our lives.

Mia Freedman strives for women of realistic body shapes to be seen in magazines and on TV. She’s not campaigning for a world where anyone can wear whatever they want without someone out there not liking it. Give her a fucking break. We live in a world where terrible things happen everyday. There are entire countries and religions that force women to live like slaves to their husbands and wear clothing that ensure they do not look desirable to any other man. We live in a world where LGBT people aren’t allowed the most basic right of marriage and are often persecuted and in severe cases, killed for having the “wrong” sexuality. And yet here we have people getting so mad about something so trivial. Yes, someone making a snide remark about how they don’t like what some celebrity wore to an awards show is trivial and meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Because a) There are far more important thing to worry about in the world and b) The celeb’s don’t give a shit what we lowly common folk think, and even if they did I am sure they can dry their tears with their big wads of cash and buy a few Cartier diamonds to cheer themselves up!

When we live in a world where there’s no discrimination about race, gender, religion or sexuality then we can all go crazy and stop people from having opinions about what other women wear. If indeed that’s what you really want.

Originally published at
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rockfotze: (Default)

I found myself in a bit of a dilemma yesterday at work. When I first started the job back in February I’d wondered if anyone was going to say anything to me, but after three months I figured it was all good, which as it turns out, wasn’t the case at all. I was asked by my team leader to start wearing work clothes that fitted the company dress code as some people higher up had asked her to talk to me about how I dress. As it turns out my zany, off-beat style which I’ve toned down to suit a semi-corporate environment wasn’t quite right. I was pretty mad at first (still am, actually) because while I understand my style of dressing isn’t what you’d see listed in the regular company dress standards, I felt I was doing a bloody good job of looking nice while remaining an individual. Serves me right or making assumptions, I guess.

My manager asked me if I could just wear some regular work pants instead of my usual skirt/legging combo. I was appalled and honestly told her “I don’t wear pants” because I don’t! I used to wear jeans a lot and even use to wear black work pants all the time, but that was years ago and I’m strictly a cute skirt/dress with leggings kinda girl nowadays. I told her I’d do what I could but what I wore to work was all I really had and so the deadline of “tomorrow” (I know, right) wasn’t going to work because I wouldn’t be able to get anything “business-like” until pay day. I think she was surprised that I simply do not have normal, boring, work clothes like everyone else. I’ve worked in fairly casual places for a few years now and since this is a call center, I thought my funky twist on business wear would be more than adequate! Anyone who’s ever worked in a call center like the ones I’ve worked in probably get why I’m feeling so hard done by about this. Call centers are just always so much more relaxed clothing-wise than most office environments, because our jobs typically suck a whole lot more than typical office jobs.

So, this leaves me with a dilemma. I’ve obviously got to get some more corporate attire unless I want upper management hating my guts forever (I already noticed some evil eyes today because I literally just had to wear what I normally wear due to running late and not having any other options). So this is where I need YOUR advice, guys! I’m not a corporate sorta girl and I don’t want to look like a total business jerk with a big butt in crappy business pants. What brands are available that aren’t too expensive, look good and will prevent me from getting into any more trouble? Any shops in Brisbane that you can recommend that suit a girl with an arse like Kim Kardashian (who lacks the millions of dollars to make it look amazingly sexy). How can I take some dreadful work pants and make it look a little bit funky? How can I do this without selling my soul???

For the record, this is basically the sort of thing I wear to work every day:

Fashion Trends & Styles - PolyvoreWhat I wear to work

That is, a black button down shirt, usually with the sleeves rolled up a bit, a black tutu-style skirt over plain leggings with my satin, 3/4 sleeved blazer, some plain lats and maybe some cute clips in my hair or a nice brooch. I believe it’s the skirts and leggings that aren’t working or me, hence the suggestion of work pants, as I cannot see how my shirt/jacket combination can be wrong in any way.

So please give me any suggestions and if you work in a corporate business environment, how do you ensure you don’t to look like a frumpy old dag or a slutty secretary (seriously, it seems to go one way or the other and nowhere in between, as far as I’m concerned) and maintain some sanity???

(Please note any suggestions involving “Get a new job” are duly noted in advance and my options are already being explored)

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rockfotze: (appalled)

Anyone who knows me in real life has very probably heard one of my Bear Grylls rants. They usually happen on a Monday night or Tuesday morning after the show has aired in Australia on Monday evening. Let me get this out, loud and clear, so no one has any misunderstandings: I FUCKING HATE BEAR GRYLLS!

It’s become apparent that most people who know of Bear Grylls think he’s fucking awesome. Well I am here to not only tell you that he is not but to also explain why. I hate the man so passionately that whenever someone says “Hey did you see ‘Man vs Wild’ last night?” I have to use every ounce of my self-control not to slap them in the face. I will however, let them know exactly how I feel about the show and the stupid dickwad who hosts it until I am shaking with rage.

So why do I hate him so much? Aside from the fact he has possibly the worlds most annoying accent and tries to get all Steve-Irwin-excited except with less amusement? Aside from the fact his show his a crock of shit? OK well how about how the motherfucker kills animals for ENTERTAINMENT. You heard me, enter-fucking-tainment! There’s no other way around it, people watch the show with the expectation that he will do something gross like drink muddy water or his own pee, or more importantly, kill an animal for food. What’s wrong with that, you might ask? EVERYTHING! I know animals are killed for food all over the world each and every day, I am not naive and nor am I even a vegetarian so it’s not as if I can get all morally-righteous about how meat is murder. But the simple fact is, he kills animals for his TV show because that’s what his brain-damaged target audience want, and so he delivers.

I get into the same argument about this every time I start ranting about Bear Grylls so let me just say this: This show is not about teaching people how to survive in tough locations. It is entertainment, pure and simple. If you think that after watching a bunch of his shows, you could be left alone in a Siberian wasteland and last more than a day then you’re fucking retarded! You’re going to remember all of the things a trained mercenary taught you in an hour TV show, are you? Get fucking real! You ain’t going to remember shit and you know it, dick bag. If you find your arse stranded in the amazon goddamn jungle, you probably did some fucked up shit and deserve to be eaten by piranhas or a boa constrictor within the first hour. Who the HELL finds themselves in those situations? Explorers? Adventurers? Indiana Jones, maybe? Not you, that’s for damn sure!

And then there’s the stupid belief he is actually surviving. OK guys so how’s the show being filmed? Ain’t by hand held camera! He has at least two camera guys with him, based on the different camera angles you see in the show. And that’s not including the people in the helicopters who do those impressive, sweeping shots of him while he’s supposedly “on his own in the wilderness”. Bollocks! Those camera people ain’t “surviving” with him which means they’re probably carrying food with them. Which means Bear Grylls doesn’t have to drink rancid water that camels have pooped in, nor does he need to eat anything he finds with a heartbeat. He could always point at a non-poisonous frog and say “If you were desperate, this type of frog would be edible” (not that it matters since you wouldn’t remember anyway and would most likely end up eating a poisonous toad by mistake) instead of then having to go kill it for the viewing pleasure of his deranged fan base with their insatiable blood lust.

Which brings me to my next point, which fills me with the kind of uncontrollable rage. Killing animals for entertainment. I’ve now established he’s not teaching people how to survive but rather showing off how fancy his SAS training is. I’ve also proven that he’s not actually surviving at all because he has a fucking camera crew with him and no one on earth is crazy enough to eat/drink the stupid shit he does so they’ve clearly got packed lunches in the backpacks and camera bags. These two facts therefore negate all need to kill any of the animals he so callously slaughters, because he doesn’t need the food and not one person watching the show will ever find themselves in a position where killing and eating a massive tarantula will be the difference between life and death. As far as I am concerned, he just enjoys killing animals and ensuring high ratings by eating them LIVE or in the nastiest way possible. You know what dude? Kill the damn animal first if you must eat it. Biting the head off a live snake is not only unnecessary and clearly dangerous, it’s also CRUEL!

If you still think he’s great, that his show really is about teaching people how to survive in inhospitable locations (and actually think you could do any of the stuff he does), that he genuinely is trying to survive in the wilderness and that the animals he kills are a necessary part of his survival, then fine. Just don’t talk about the douchebag to me, lest you wish to feel my fiery wrath. I can’t help you if you’re really that stupid, so just keep all mentions of “Man vs Wild” or Bear Grylls at least 100 meters away from me at all times.

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rockfotze: (Amelie - stupid sexy skull guy)
I have spent the last week being full of rage and generally annoyed at just about everything going wrong around me. I'm actually not that cranky a person typically and so my usual rants are usually tongue-in-cheek and mostly just for laughs or to get something off my chest quickly and effectively. But sometimes my venting doesn't help all the time and nature does its thing and I end up in a bad mood that I can't shake. I pretty much have to ride it out and be as tactful as possible to avoid excessive ranting or hurting someone's feelings by getting carried away. As a result this week has been hell and I am hoping so badly that I will be over it this week. After all, I've just started a new job (I'll have been there one month from tomorrow) and I'd hate to tarnish it with this unexplained bad mood!

As a result I made sure to have a nice quiet weekend doing some of the things I love which I think has helped me immensely. These included going to see Alice in Wonderland at the movies on Friday night (which I loved, by the way) before coming home to find my good friends over with their Wii console where we battled it out with Wii Tennis, which I am shocking at but love it none-the-less. On Saturday I slept in late, watched Video Hits and old cartoons before slowly getting ready and catching up with some friends at an afternoon punk show. That evening I headed to my mum's for the night where we stayed up late watching movies on TV and chatting. On Sunday we bummed around the house, did some scrapbooking, watched blue wren's teaching their babies how to forage for food and use the bird bath (Cutest. Thing. Ever!), ate way too much food, ran some errands (which resulted in my almost having a seizure from laughing so much, I kid you not). Then it was home for $5 steak with a friend and now I am feeling refreshed for the new week, especially since it's my first 7:30am shift at this job and the first one I've done in years (I really do not do early mornings so this will be a massive learning curve for me).

My plans for this week include getting back on track with my healthy eating regime, exercising an extra day this week and preparing myself for Lady Gaga on Friday night! I am too excited to comprehend and I still don't know what to wear yet!!!

How do you get over an extended bad mood? Do you have battle tactics to fight it, or do you just succumb and let it take over?


Originally published at
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rockfotze: (I'M A SHAAARK!!!)

I am one of the lucky few who doesn't suffer from PMS, though apparently I was unlucky today (damn St Patrick's Day for lying to me!) and had it bad. Hence why we have another "Things That Pissed Me Off Today"!

  1. That Time Of The Month. It sucks balls and all men should be eternally grateful that they do not have to go through with it. I really am pretty lucky where I don't get PMS or cramps (except for today when I randomly got both) though I do get nasty migraines and bloat up like a water-logged corpse. I also hate how all girls, as much as they hate their periods, breathe a sigh of relief when we do get our periods because hallelujah we're not pregnant! It's awful and totally unfair and justifies us to be mean as hell to all males at that time of the month without repercussion!

  2. Grocery shopping. OK so sometimes I really enjoy it but not when I am in a foul mood. It's incredibly hard to try and buy practical things that will last you til your next shopping trip when you feeling like stabbing someone in the eye. You also find you're absent-minded so that when you get home you forgot to buy some of the main things that drove you to go shopping in the first place. Also, the stuff you want is NEVER on sale when you're in a bad mood and need to go shopping. INFURIATING!

  3. The cow who made my lunch half the size it was last week. See, there's a Farmers market right in the middle of the City every Wednesday and I discovered one stall that sells the most delicious (and totally bizarre) food - avocado and mushroom floats. I got one last week and almost died from food-lust so went back today and got about half as much as I did last week. Sure, I could have complained, but I am not the complaining type so I ate it (and admittedly, enjoyed the hell out of it) and then sulked a lot and ate lots of St Patty's Day themed lollies to make up for it. Needless to see it wasn't a great combination :S

  4. People being to cool to dress in theme for festive days. I was appalled by how many people I saw walking around the City who made no effort to wear green for St Patrick's Day today. Oh come on, it's St Patrick's Day, get over yourself and have some fun and get into the spirit of things like the dag you really are. I refuse to believe anyone when they say they have no green in their wardrobes whatsoever. Green is so common, and when its bright it looks fucking awesome, so everyone's got something green tucked away somewhere, you damn liars! On the other hand I thoroughly enjoyed noticing what levels of green people wore today, some of it was over the top and in-your-face, some of it was sneaky and subtle :)

  5. And now for the big one! The thing that pissed me off in particular today, as it has for pretty much ever, are over-opinionated arseholes. I am so sick of how so many people I know find it necessary to inflict their opinions on the rest of the world and be damned if you don't agree. I consider myself a great person to be friends with because I don't really give a damn if you don't like all of the same things as me or want to do all of the things I enjoy doing. And yet all I ever see around me are people who have to open their fat traps about every damn thing like it's their god given right to bad mouth anything they don't like or agree with. Ya know what? No one gives a flying fuck! I don't mind it when friends have a bit of a rant about something (god knows I love doing it myself, clearly) but when it's constant and gets to the point where its like they have nothing good to say about anything (unless its one of the rare things that they happen to like), I could seriously start punching fists through skulls. Look here, if you're the kind of person who has to be like that, learn some goddamn tact and shut your mouth for once. You don't like that band or style of music I like? Hooray for you, but I don't want to hear about how much you hate it and why it suck and have you be all in my face about it. You don't like the things I happen to enjoy doing? Then don't do those things and get the hell over it! Far out, it's like it's become fashionable to become a self-righteous fuck these days and it's really gotten to me, as you can probably tell. There's nothing wrong with keeping opinions to yourself, or at least saving them for the people who you know will agree with you. It ain't your job to tell everyone how you think it is because a) you're wrong, b) no one cares and c) it's not funny or clever and it actually hurts/angers people. Next time, think about who you're about to bitch and moan to and decide if it's worth looking like an arsehole, because chances are that's how you're going to come across. And all for the sake of your over-inflated fucking ego.

OK well now I feel a bit better! Nothing like a bit of a whinge to get the chip off your shoulder, eh? Bare in mind, with that last one, I am referring to a broad range of people in my life, so if you're reading this and think it's about you, it is. But not just you, so suck it up and take my advice for once in your damn life and accept the fact you come across as an arsehole when you tell me the stuff I do, the things I like and the people I hang out with are all shit. That's right, I'm talkin' to YOU!

Which night? ri or Sat? Standing or seated?

Originally published at
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Body Image Rage

Thursday, 4 February 2010 11:51
rockfotze: (Default)
I started writing a blog about the whole body image debate going on right now, how magazines and the fashion industry are apparently trying to encourage positive body shapes and perceptions. It was all very fancy and informative but it was boring me so I am going to have a big old rant instead!

I posted a link on my Twitter this week that talked about how a study concluded that Australian women have the highest rising obesity level in the world (based on the BMI scale). I found it interesting because we're always accusing Americans of being so much fatter than us, and yet there's apparent proof that we're much worse. One friend who is a fat advocate got upset and defriended/unfollowed me from everything online and generally made me feel rotten about my interest in this article. It's not as if I said (as the majority of the comments on that article said, much to my disgust) that fat people are disgusting and need to stop whinging, eat less and exercise more. I just took an interest in the damn article because it's a controversial and constantly discussed issues these days, particularly in my life.

Regardless of the topic, people all have varied opinions on certain things and not everyone is going to agree. Not only would that go against human nature, it would also be extremely boring. In regards to body image, weight issues, fat vs skinny etc, everyone has their own opinion. In this case this person believes in positive body image, fat acceptance and is generally a very vocal person when it comes to wanting others to embrace their sizes, particularly the "larger" percentage of the population. I've always admired her for this, despite the fact I have not always agreed with all of her opinions on the matter. But alas, she didn't like what I had to say (not that I said much, really) and quickly did away with me when she thought I was directly going against her belief system.

I have a turbulent and somewhat distorted perception of what body image/acceptance means. I am one of those unfortunate people who will probably never be happy with my size, even if I did get to my goal weight. It took me a number of diets and lot of going up and down in weight before I finally got to the stage I am at now where I first and foremost want to be fit and healthy which in turn will help me lose weight and get me to the size I want to be. I've never been the sort of person to preach about what's right and wrong when it comes to weight, because I do not have an educated, non-biased opinion and I don't feel as though my personal insecurities would make me a good role model on this particular topic (on arse-kicking and general awesomeness however, I am the ideal poster-girl).

I'm not writing this to make this girl feel bad or to be all up in your faces about THIS IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT BODY IMAGE SO ACCEPT IT OR FUCK OFF but just to say - we all have different opinions on this subject and no matter how we feel about the opinions of others, they have a right to think that way and all we can do is stick up for our own beliefs and accept the fact there's always going to be conflict of interests. Especially with an issue as delicate as this.

And for the record I am actually a bit of a "fat advocate" myself, even though I really dislike that term (though I don't know why). I've always been the type of person to stick up for the overweight and obese at any given opportunity. I've written countless "letters to the editor" after being outraged by peoples opinions on overweight people. I have always campaigned against people using someone's weight as an insult during a fight (if that's all you got then you got nothin') as well as how being fat is still fair game in TV and movies in this overly PC world of ours when it should be just as controversial as any race, gender or sexuality jokes as far as I am concerned! Just because I wish to be slim myself does not mean I do not care and understand the plight of those who are overweight and proud to be so!


Originally published at

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