Wet August

Friday, 5 August 2011 21:01
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Well it was a massive 5-week month but July is over, which means Dry July is also over. So, how do I feel? AMAZING! I’m sure it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that abstaining from alcohol will do nothing but good for you, but I am absolutely floored by how great I feel. OK so the last two weeks were spent with cold and horrific migraines BUT they were caused by non-alcoholic related sources, and so I know I recovered a hell of a lot quicker by being dry for three weeks previously than if I’d been hitting the piss all month.

I admit my sweet tooth went into overdrive without my usual sweet champagne’s, ciders and wines to placate it, but I have only managed to lose weight because no matter how many cupcakes and sweets I eat, nothing is worse than the liquid fat that is alcohol. I also realised it is actually not that difficult to not drink. I managed to go to a few events, including a gig, a boozy work function and a friends birthday dinner and not feel tempted to pick up a glass of wine. OK so there was a tiny bit of temptation, but it was super easy to resist and I felt awesome being able to get up the next morning feeling the marvelous clarity of sobriety.

So what have I learned, in summary? It’s really not that hard to say no. You feel amazing if you keep off the booze for a decent period of time. Friends will try to get you to drink at times, but good friends will take “no” as your final answer. Drinking a glass of water for every alcoholic drinks is really important. That last one is a big one I have never been good with, but will put into practice immediately. I will also remember to drink less and just say no if I am not really in the mood or have to do something the next day. They all seem simple enough but the lure of a naughty little drink is hard to resist.

Right now I am drinking my first alcoholic beverage for what has been just under six weeks. If it wasn’t for some special events next weekend, I probably wouldn’t even bother drinking at all this month either. But as I have promised to share a few drinks with a visiting friend, I am slowly introducing our evil friend back into my system. I have a feeling I will be asleep by 10pm at this rate, it’s already starting to hit me!

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Many apologies for the lack of updates lately. I have been ridiculously busy at work for EOFY which really took it out of me. Eight hours in front of a computer is pretty horrendous to me, since I’m usually up and down all day doing lots of different things so I kept away from my computer at home until now.

As you may have already guessed from the image, I have decided to take part in Dry July this year. It is, as described on the website “an online social community where an individual or team can sign up to the challenge of a month long sponsored abstinence from alcohol”. In other words you don’t drink any alcohol for the month of July and get people to sponsor you so that you end up raising money for cancer patients. It’s been happening since 2008 but I’ve never even considered taking part before. In fact it wasn’t until I woke up on a Friday morning feeling like complete arse because I’d had one celebratory drink with a friend who finally got a job she’d been after for months, that I decided it would be a good idea. One drink shouldn’t make you massively hungover, especially when it was cider, and one that I used to be able to drink plenty of without making myself too ill the next day to boot.

So I have set myself the challenge of not drinking for a whole month. I admit I am not a big drinker, in fact I go whole weeks without touching a drop. But I’ve also never made any effort not to drink. In fact I did once decide to lay off alcohol and treats for two weeks which I was hopeless at because I went to a Tupperware party that serves champagne cocktails and a ridiculous amount of cheese and I found I couldn not say “no” and ate and drank to my hearts content. That was the first weekend too, so I was destined to fail that time, apparently. I seem to have an inability to say no when it comes to drinking, even though I don’t do a lot of it, I can’t help but want a drink after a hard week or if I’m doing anything social. So this is going to be a massive challenge for me!

One thing I’ve found when I’ve told people I am doing Dry July is how badly they react. You would think I was giving up alcohol for a whole year, not just a month. So while I found myself having a bit of a freak out in the days leading up to this, I also realised it’s not that big a deal. It’s only alcohol, I don’t need it to live and all evidence indicates I am allergic to it in some way (or an ingredient found in most alcoholic drinks, anyway). I get the worst migraines imaginable after drinking most types of alcohol and it’s only getting worse as I get older. Alcohol also ruins the lives of many and costs a hell of a lot of money. I don’t need it and I’m a little bit ashamed of myself for worrying about not being able to have some for a mere 31 day period.

It’s only day 3 of this challenge and already I have done a lot to make the endeavour worthwhile. On the very first day I went to see Miami Horror live and while I probably would have had more fun if I’d been drinking (as I wouldn’t have been so easily distracted by all of the drunk people bumping into me all night), I still enjoyed the show and got home looking fresh-faced and filled with a nice, natural energy, as opposed to the alcohol-fueled crazy-Cara that so often pops her head out after a few too many drinks. I also spent this weekend in with my bf, cleaning the unit from top to bottom and reorganising the place so it looks twice as big as it did. I know I will save some money (from not buying alcohol as well as not having to buy so many pain killers) and since I have been on a huge diet and exercise kick lately, I will probably look and feel the best I’ve felt in years!

I’d love to get some donations, to help motivate me! All money raised goes to the Mater Adult Hospital to help cancer patients. Every little bit helps so please share the love :)

Click pic for my Dry July profile

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There is a march happening in Brisbane tomorrow called SlutWalk which is a protest rally the came into being in retaliation to a Canadian police officer who suggested women could avoid sexual assault by not dressing like a “slut”.

I had never heard of this event before until a work mate mentioned it to me today. Her friend is keen to take part in the rally and asked her to help support the cause, but my workmate was feeling conflicted about what she thought of the event. We had a great discussion about our thoughts on what SlutWalk stands for, and even had some male perspective thrown in from another work mate.

If you’ve never heard of it, it is essentially a rally for women who have had enough of the perception that a woman deserves to get raped because of the outfit she was wearing or the way she was acting. It is also claimed they take back the world “slut” so that the meaning becomes that of someone who enjoys sex, as opposed to the negative meaning it currently has.

I have to admit, I am very conflicted about this as well. As I have said in previous posts, a woman should be able to walk down the street completely naked without fear of being raped. And if a girl wants to wear a short skirt, dance suggestively and have a party pash while extremely intoxicated, she has ever right to do so without running the risk of EVER being raped. Men should be able to handle their desires for sex, they should be able to look at a girl in skimpy clothing and not want to rape her. But I am also a realist and feel that women who can’t handle their alcohol or give off a vulnerable vibe need to be more mindful of how they’re perceived in order to lower their chances of being attacked by the kinds of people who are out there with rape on their minds.

I also absolutely abhor the word “slut”. I think it is the most repulsive word. I find it far worse thasn the C-bomb because of what it means to most people and how it gets used. To me a slut is someone (male or female) who has frequent, unprotected sex without any regard for their own well-being, let alone that of their sexual partners. But that’s not how most people think of the word nor how they use it. It’s a word used specifically for women (if ever it gets used for men, it’s always male-slut) and is used for any female who happens to enjoy having casual sex. It doesn’t matter that she uses protection or even if knows the guy/s, the fact she’s having sex with men who aren’t her boyfriend more than once in a blue moon is something to look down upon and use a foul name to describe her character.

I don’t know how they expect to reclaim the world slut, because it was never “ours” to begin with. It’s not like the word faggot (another one of my most hated words) that actually means a bundle of sticks. Nor the word “cunt” which is a slang word for vagina and in my opinion, should not be considered the worst swear word, because there’s nothing wrong with vagina’s, thank you very much! The word “slut” has negative connotations and can never be reclaimed. It didn’t once mean something nice and innocent, it’s always meant the same awful thing. I’ve never heard the word used in anything but a hateful, demeaning and misogynistic way and I don’t want it reclaimed, if ever that were possible. If I had my way the word would be wiped from everyone’s memories and never used again.

I feel they are going about this the wrong way. As my male workmate said, rapists usually aren’t targeting women for what they’re wearing, they’re targeting the vulnerable. Why would they target a girl confident enough to wear a micro mini skirt when they could go for the meek girl who’s covered up but obviously wouldn’t put up much of a fight? This perception that women who wear “slutty” outfits or stumbles around drunkenly after a big night out and then get raped were “asking for it” is not the opinion of the rapists, but of the general public. Even in this modern day and age, many people still have the old-fashioned and sexist idea that a woman is asking for sex (consensual or not) when she wears certain clothing. These ideas are hideously old fashioned but they’re also deeply ingrained in many people, so having a march called SlutWalk isn’t going to make them say “Oh, they’re right, a woman should be able to wear what she wants and not get raped for it”. More than likely they think all of the participants are being hysterical feminists or that they’re just trying to justify their wicked ways with a protest.

I appreciate what the SlutWalk is setting out to achieve, and I hope I am wrong and it does raise awareness on the matter and converts some peoples way of thinking about women who enjoy sex and/or likes to wear skimpy clothing. But I really do think there’s a good chance they’re doing just as much harm as good by drawing attention to and essentially reinforcing the negative stereotypes of promiscuous women by calling it SlutWalk and then having half the participants dressing as “sluts”. If I didn’t have plans tomorrow, I’d go on the walk and see what it’s all about, in case I am missing something that would allow me to be more enthusiastic about the event. After all, anything that encourages feminism in younger generations is a good thing, and for that I am thankful for the SlutWalk phenomenon.

For now I will leave you with an comment left on an article on the Brisbane Times which sums up my feelings about the whole thing quite well:

This reminds me of bra burning, something that still defies a reasonable explanation. This action will do little to change the minds of arrogant men and disappoints others by it being a manic over-reaction.

I would like to know what you think on this issue, and if you’ve attended one of the SlutWalks. Am I being too sensitive because I hate the word “slut” so much? Or do you agree that this could be done in a different way with an even more positive outcome?

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I recently read an amazing blog from a heavily tattooed girl explaining how getting tattooed may change your life. It’s great because this isn’t something anyone tells you before you trot off to get your first tattoo. You’re either told “you’ll regret it for the rest of your life” or “you’ll love it and regret it if you don’t”. There never seems to be any middle ground, explaining the pro’s and cons, so it was lovely to see someone explain it the good (and bad) ways it will change your life.

It was an especially interesting read for me, because I was made redundant recently and am in the process of applying for jobs. I’ve only had a couple of face-to-face interviews so far and have had to cover my tattoos with long sleeves and thick black stockings so that they won’t know the truth. Because I am currently applying for jobs in corporate environments, I pretty much don’t have a choice because I know I won’t have a chance if I turned up with any tattoos showing, even if I was absolutely perfect for the role.

I can honestly say I have never regretted my tattoos. I love them and am glad I got them in the first place. But I know they can act as a sort of “barrier” between people and the real me. Tattoos do not define me, but to the uninformed stranger that’s all they see and so, in a sense, they do define me. I have turned so many people around on their negative stance on tattoos by being a lovely person and not being the stereotypical deadshit covered in badly-done tattoos. But I have to work hard on some people, show them they’re just a small part of me that makes me a bit more colourful than the average person.

If you’re considering getting a tattoo, please understand it will change your life and you will forever be trying to prove to narrow-minded people that you’re a decent person. By getting a tattoo you’ve set yourself up for dumb questions, having random people touching them and thinly veiled insults (like “oh but you’re so pretty, why did you get so many tattoos for?”). It is up to you to then deflect any negativity by being patient with those who don’t “get” tattoos, explaining what they mean to you and proving you’re a normal person like they are, you just have some lovely, permanent decorations on your skin. And the sad reality is, you will probably have to cover them up for a lot of jobs which is a massive pain in the butt (especially if you live somewhere like Brisbane where you sweat half to death by just being outside for five minutes in the height of summer).

It’s not all bad though, a lot of people do love tattoos even if they don’t have any and you will encounter lots of positivity about them and if you’re really lucky, you will find a great job where they don’t mind your them and let you show the off while working. I am hoping I will one day find the perfect job where my pink hair, colourful tattoos and awesome personality are not only accepted but encouraged!

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After writing about the things that scare me the other day and because I am off sick from work and need cheering up, I thought it would be nice to list all of  the things that bring me intense pleasure. You know, the simple things that most people don’t even bat an eyelid over usually. I’m also not talking about sexual stuff, this ain’t that kind of blog ;)

  • Cold material between my fingers and toes. Especially satin. Once you’ve rubbed it warm you move along to a cool patch and continue. My favourite blanket as a little kid was called blue blankey and I rubbed its satin edges so much that they almost all wore away.

  • A fresh nail colour. Especially when it’s a colour you don’t normally choose (for me they’re colours like red and blue) which look magnificent on you.

  • Buying a new CD. I don’t care if downloading albums is the way of the future, I will never stop buying CDs and loving the feeling of getting it home, unwrapping it and playing it for the first time.

  • New makeup. Especially when you get freebies! Because I use a lot of Clinique, I can usually time my purchases to when they have their Bonus Time which means heaps of cute sample-sized freebies. So there’s the joy of fresh, new makeup plus a bunch of other things in cute sized containers to test out.

  • A favourite food that I haven’t had in a long while. I had this recently with a cheese sandwich. So simple but so rarely had and so damn delicious!

  • New shoes! One of the greatest pleasures in life for almost any person. Both practical and beautiful to behold. I just bought an amazing new pair which I will post about later!

  • A freshly cleaned house. Sometimes I can’t be bothered cleaning the whole house, so I will just clean a bathroom of vacuum the floors and then spend the next hour checking on how clean it is and feeling very accomplished. Having the whole house sparking means I get to strut around proudly for a good 2 to 3 hours at least.

  • Going for a long walk on a beautiful day. I love nature and seeing it in all it’s glory on a lovely, warm day fills me with immense happiness. I reckon most mild depressions could be cured if people spent more time enjoying what nature has to offer. A beautiful sunset, butterflies and dragonflies flitting by, water trickling, leaves rustling in a light breeze, gorgeous flowers and the sound of kids playing in the distance.

  • Finding something practical and boring like household appliances or sporting goods in PINK!

Tell me about the simple pleasures that fill you with joy.

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Wow, I cannot believe 2010 is almost over! I know I’m not the only one who think this year went ridiculously fast. I remember going to the Good Vibrations festival in Sydney, having my 10 year high school reunion and moving into my awesome unit like it was last week (all happened in February) and I can’t believe I have had three, if not four, vastly different jobs in the last 12 months. I didn’t go overseas once this year while I managed to be overseas three separate time in 2009. That’s probably why the year flew by so quickly this year, as I didn’t have major holidays to look forward to, which tends to make time slow down drastically.

If I was going to be honest I’d tell you that 2010 hasn’t been my finest year. As I said, I’ve changed jobs a lot this year with some moves being great and others being not-so-great. Recently I lost my job, a job I loved, only to find myself staying within the company and into a position that I now also enjoy. It was tough but I try not to dwell too much and move on with my life. It did help me realise I am not content with where I am in life and have vowed to do something creative, most likely graphic design, next year. So now I am saving up to do a full-time course or at least a part time one sometime in 2011.

It’s not all been bad though of course. I’ve done some good things which I am proud of. I maintained this blog all year which is a pretty big deal for someone as vague and forgetful as me. I got into nail art and got over my fear of posting photos of me wearing clothes on the internet. I am also the fittest and healthiest (and therefor, slimmest) I have been in years which is an awesome accomplishment which I plan to continue. I’ve done some dumb diets and lost weight but this is the first time I just ate healthy and exercised a lot and I am really toned and so damn healthy, it’s sickening!

I managed to go to a heap of festivals, I didn’t even let the fact two of them were on the same day up here in QLD and went on a road trip down to Sydney for Good Vibes and then got to see one of my favourite bands, Faith No More, play up in Brisbane (and I also got to meet the band Anvil who I was briefly obsessed with thanks to their doco). I also saw Lady Gaga twice in one weekend and Calvin Harris twice this year, both of whom I love very much. I also managed to run one of the biggest events in Brisbane – the Brisbane Zombie Walk. 10,000 people and $13k raised in donations later, we officially run the larehst zombie walk anywhere in the world.

OK so maybe it wasn’t that bad after all. I didn’t travel and I am still without a bangin’ career but I am working on both of those things. In fact I am working on a lot of things already, including getting more crafty with the new sewing machine my mum bought me for Christmas as well as my new found love of scrapbooking. I also intend to totally overhaul my blog soon and so some excellent things with it which I haven’t had a chance to do yet.

I wish you all a fun New Years Eve and hope 2011 is all you want it to be. Don’t forget to keep safe and if you’re heading out, be responsible and look how while doing so! (Just remember to hide the tacky plastic cups when posing for photos, as I quickly learned today. Ooops!)

For my last few days of 2010, I plan to relax a whole heap, sleep in late, catch up with old friends and then head down to the Gold Coast for some trashy NYE fun before the first festival of the new year – Summafieldayze! Catch ya’ll on the flip side!

Originally published at rubyvelour.com
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I don’t know why I keep ruining my day by reading news.com.au but once again I have stumbled upon an article, which by itself isn’t too bad, but then you read the comments and the blood starts to boil.

In this case, it’s one about gen Y and how they love tattoos.

Yeah, you can already picture the sorts of comments these white, middle-class idiots who have this over inflated sense of self importance and like to tell anyone who’ll listen why everything sucks make. As a matter of fact, some of these comments even shocked me, and I’ve read some pretty dreadful comments on that website. I admit the article was a bit lame (shock horror) and did make it seem like the types of Gen Y’s (fuck I hate this who Gen Y vs the world thing that’s happening at the moment) to get tattoos are all a bit daft and think they’re getting tattoos to express individuality when they’re really just following a trend. I get that and have always been annoyed at the idiots who get tattooed to be trendy, as they’re the ones who make those, like me, who really love tattoos look like idiots.

So apparently we’re now conformist whores (I’m not kidding, someone actually wrote that) and immature idiots who all get kanji and swirly butterfly, tribal tramp stamps who will undoubtedly want to have them all removed once we’re 35 because we changed our minds and don’t like them anymore. REALLY? I don’t even know how to respond to these sorts of ignorant opinions. Not without flipping my lid and calling them all a bunch of swear words, anyway. My mind boggles that people are so closed-minded about tattoos still. I mean, I’m not stupid, I know a lot of people still consider tattoos “rough” and employers consider them some sort of badge of unreliability so that you can’t get hired outside of JB HiFi if you dare show them off. But still, I thought that since its 2010 now, people might have stopped thinking like it’s 1985 and accepted the fact tattoos aren’t all that bad after all. HOW FOOLISH I AM!

So I am going to clear some of this up for any of those who still consider tattoos the mark of lazy, unreliable, crime-prone, conformist whores!

  • Not everyone who gets tattooed gets something off the wall or “just because”. Most of us put a lot of thought into tattoos, get them designed and spend a lot of time deciding what we want permanently inked to our bodies. Anyone who goes and gets a bit of tribal or a cherry blossom are usually the kinds of people who don’t know anything about tattoos and probably will regret it later. If they don’t, then they’ll probably move on to well-thought out and meaningful tattoos once they’ve gotten over the thrill of getting their first tatt.

  • Yes, there are a lot of crappy tattoos out there. Some are poorly executed or involve clichéd and “trendy” designs that will date pretty quickly. But if ever you see someone with what you consider a crap tattoo, that is your opinion. While that Ned Kelly sleeve I saw the other day made me cringe, that guy who had it probably loves it and has attributed a lot of meaning to it so you just can’t assume it was done on a whim or they’ll regret it when they’re older, because they probably won’t. Tattoos are subjective.

  • Most people do not get stuff tattooed on themselves that they will get bored of or stop liking in a couple of years. I wonder how fickle these people are who ask “what if you don’t like that in two years?”, do they go through their lives only half-heartedly liking things and then get sick of them and hate them for the rest of their lives? People always ask me this when they see I have Harry Potter tattoos for example, as though I could ever stop loving those books. Look, if in 10 years time I decided I don’t like Harry Potter any more, I will still love my tattoos because they represent a time in my life when Harry Potter was a huge deal to me and will always remind me of those times. The only time when I’ll accept this argument is when a name of a boy/girl friend is tattooed and even then I don’t think it’s a huge deal, as long as you got it for the right reasons and still have fond memories of that person then who cares?

  • Bad tattoos are kind of part of the fun of tattoos. If you’re really into tattoos and have a few of them, there will always be that tattoos that isn’t exactly great. You might not hate it and want it removed, but it’s definitely your least favourite and one you tend not to show to people when they ask to see your tattoos. Mine is on my forearm, of all silly places, and while it was done by my favourite artist in London, I’d been too shy to really tell him how I wanted it to look so it’s a bit crap in that sense and basically needs to be completely redone for it to look perfect. But I don’t hate it and would never get it removed. I wouldn’t even get it covered up either, because it now has a story behind it and I kind of love it in more of a sentimental sense than an aesthetic sense.

  • Most people understand perfectly well that tattoos are forever and most people do not get theirs removed, no matter how much they’ve changed over the years. The kinds of people who get tattoos removed are the kinds of idiots who get some shitty piece of flash from the wall of their dodgy neighborhood tattooist for their 18th birthday or while completely smashed, and usually on a dumb-arse spot like their upper arm, shoulder or chest. These are the kids of people who never really wanted a tattoo but got one anyone, whether they were drunk or dared to, it doesn’t matter. They’re the kind of people who don’t deserve tattoos and why tattoo removal was invented. Poor Rebekah probably should have thought about how her wedding photos with Shane were going to look before she got that tiny red rose/ying & yang symbol tattooed on her shoulder blade/bicep!

While I acknowledge that there are idiots out there who get tattoos for the wrong reasons, most people choose well and get something they’ll cherish forever and don’t ever regret what they got. We of Gen Y have leaned from the mistakes of previous generations and don’t go about getting tacky little things done for the thrill of it. Most of us think long and hard about what we want and don’t all rush out and get one on our 18 birthdays or make stupid, life-altering decisions involving too much liquor and a mate who has a tattoo gun. The people who left those nasty comments about how people with tattoos are rotten people need to wake up and get a dose of reality. Tattoos don’t turn you into a bad person, but judging people harshly for having tattoos makes you a bad person.

As the famous saying goes, The only difference between a tattooed person and a person who isn’t tattooed is that a tattooed person doesn’t care if you’re tattooed or not.

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I am pretty excited tonight because after many months I finally got my hair cut. I started growing it out earlier this year thinking I’d get it nice and long and add extensions. Well it was at that horrible hitting-the-shoulders stage and just looking awful and making my poor neck  sweat since it’s getting warm in Brisbane lately, so I decided it was time to get rid of it.


I go to Oscar Oscar for all hair styling and cuts and have never had a bad haircut yet. I’ve been to the one at Indooroopilly almost exclusively since 2006 and just love them. I’ve not heard great things about their coloring (apparently Aveda colours don’t last unless you use Aveda products which is a bit shit, especially since it costs the earth) but their haircuts are GREAT!

I decided I wanted to go back to my layered bob as it always looks good, is pretty easy to manage and suits me the best. I also went for a longer bob too as I do like how longer hair frames my face and I’ve had way too many short bob’s these last two years.


And as you can see it’s a fabulous haircut! I love it and couldn’t be happier. I also love how you can now see my burning stick man tattoo poking out underneath the pink ;) I only wish I could go out tonight and show it off a bit, but alas I start work early in the morning. I just hope it looks this sleek and sexy tomorrow when I have to try and style it myself while half-asleep!

Oh and I also got my nails re-done, so amd feeling fresh and lovely all over. I have some great plans for how I’m decorating my nails this weekend, so watch out!


Originally published at rubyvelour.com
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Rape Happens

Thursday, 14 October 2010 21:55
rockfotze: (Arrested Development - Buster vs Sheep)

I’m afraid I am going to have to get all serious and all up in your faces about something that has been floating around in Aussie news for a little while now. That awful thing known as rape and the scandals associated with it, particularly in regards to Australia footballers. If you’re not aware of what’s going on, a brief summary is that barely a day goes by when a high-profile football player from AFL or Rugby is accused of raping a girl after a boozy night out.

I have so much to say, so much so I am finding it hard to articulate myself, so please excuse any waffling, though I promise to avoid as much nonsensical ranting as I can since that always gets me into trouble, and I seriously can’t be arsed with it. First and foremost, there is never, ever an excuse for rape. It is one of the worst crimes I can imagine and never will there be a valid excuse for one human raping another (I also believe this applies to the animal kingdom but let’s leave that one for today). I do not care how the victim was dressed, how they acted, what they said or did or whatever; they do not deserve to be raped. I am even of the opinion that even if you’ve committed a horrendous crime, rape is not an acceptable retaliation. It is the most degrading act and serves only to hurt, humiliate and strip all power from the victim. There never has and never will be an excuse or justification for this atrocity and anyone who does not find the idea of rape unbearable or thinks it’s OK to joke about it deserves nothing more than contempt. And maybe a beating or two.

OK so now I have gotten that out of the way, I wanted to highlight some of my thoughts about these scandals and I guess the opinions people have about rape these days. First of all, rape ain’t a new thing that’s just popped up with the invention of TV or rap music. For as long as living creatures have been able to have intercourse, they have been able to rape or be raped. It’s impossible to work out when more rapes have occurred in history because it’s not like murder where there’s a dead body popping up (or to go completely missing without a trace). Rape probably exists a whole lot more than anyone could possibly imagine because most victims tend not to tell people, or at least not report it to authorities. And yet the way it’s portrayed in the media, you’d think it was this new, awful thing that’s a by-product of modern society. Of course the fact we all have so much more access to different news from all over the world thank to the internet helps one feel as though rapes happen more now than they ever did. Of course, maybe they do happen more nowadays than they used to, but we’ll never really know for sure.

I have a lot of mixed feelings about rape scandals involving celebrities. While I know the rick and famous have just as much ability to rape as any non-famous person, I always have this niggling thought that maybe the victim isn’t so much the victim and is actually the one doing the exploitation. It’s such a hard thing to think or talk about because it all comes down to their word against the alleged perpetrator and if you side with one or the other, you’re bound to get into a heated debate with whoever you voice your opinion to. After all, what if that girl was raped by that famous sportsman, you don’t want to assume she made it up for publicity because there’s still a good chance she actually was assaulted. This is why I guess all of these cases get so much media attention because nothing sells better than the combination of sex, crime, fame and the famous celeb vs the hapless victim. I’m not taking sides with either party because I feel sympathy for both because either one could be the victim. The girl who got raped vs the football player who had consensual sex with an eager fan. It’s a really, really messy situation.

I’ve read a tonne of debate over the idea of consent and how it’s affected by alcohol. Is it rape if the girl is wasted and can’t actually say yes, she wants sex but hasn’t said no either? But then if the guy is just as wasted, could he not also be in the same predicament where he was too inebriated to work out if the girl consented and just went along with whatever was happening in the bed at the time? It’s tough, because we all want someone to blame. In an ideal world the guy would realise how smashed the girl was and either send her home in a cab or if he took her home, let her sleep it off before attempting to shag. But this ain’t an ideal world and when a guy is drunk and horny and the girl he’s with seems to be DTF then he’s invariably going to sleep with her. If she said “No, I don’t want to have sex with you” then 99% of guys would stop, maybe curse their bad luck and jerk off in the shower. But there are still those guys who go through with it anyway, which is clearly rape. If the girl didn’t say no and seemed to enjoy the sex, but then woke up and realised what had happened though she couldn’t remember any/most of it and regretted it immediately, how is that classed as rape? According to most state’s laws it is because the girl was drunk and wasn’t able to give consent at the time. Most girls would just go home and feel like a total dickhead and maybe giggle about it with her good friends later but then there’s always those few who decide to make an example of the guy and cry rape, particularly when she has something to gain from it (ie. publicity). I hate the idea of this, and could never do this to someone no matter how much I hated them, but some people are idiots and willing to lie about something as horrific as rape for a little bit of attention.

I’m starting to get off track here and really haven’t come to my point…whatever that may be. Basically, rape is an awful thing but it happens. While a girl should be able to lie naked and spread-eagled on the footpath or wear a tiny skirt and dance provocatively with unknown strangers without being raped, rape is a very real thing and as sad as it is to say, women do need to watch themselves. I’m not saying we should all cover up, abstain from alcohol and wait for marriage, but we do have some responsibility for preventing sexual assault. Look at it this way, if you’re the kind of person who tends to get out of control when drinking and make some stupid mistakes like going home with questionable people or passing out in the street after losing all of your friends, then you need to re-evaluate your partying habits. Because while you do not deserve to be raped because you got trashed, dirty danced with some dodgy guys and acted like a bit of a sluzza all night, you need to be aware of the fact RAPE HAPPENS. If you keep putting yourself in dangerous situations then it becomes likely that something bad will happen to you eventually. When I drink, I get crippling migraines, so to fix this I do not drink very much anymore and do all I can to prevent migraines when I do decide to drink. Likewise, if you’re prone to going home with dodgy fuckwits when drinking, try to prevent the situation by drinking less or at least making sure your friends stay with you at all times. And for good measure, just avoid drinking with footy players in general as you never know, there could be a whole lotta truth behind those rape claims.

Rape can happen anywhere or any place, so don’t put yourself in a position where you might get raped when it can easily be avoided. For all non-partying situations (which is all I covered here tonight), all you can do is be aware, have a plan and for godsake, turn down your damn iPod when running through a park! Be aware and hopefully you will always be safe.

Originally published at rubyvelour.com
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rockfotze: (Default)


Please note, the above video is NSFW and contains lots of close up shots of female genitalia and frank discussions about vaginas and how they’re depicted in the media.

Now that you’ve watched the video, how do you feel? I hope you feel outraged, regardless of your gender or your thoughts on pornography or anything relating to the female reproductive area. I hope that you understood the point of this video and feel as horrified as I do about how a normal vagina is considered unattractive or too vulgar if shown in its full glory. So much so it has to be chopped up (both literally and figuratively) to look nice and acceptable in soft porn magazines. Well, as far as the Classification board is concerned, anyway!

I will admit right now, and I am not proud of this, but I had given thought to getting a designer vagina. I don’t know why, possibly just because it sounds so cool: designer vagina. But after watching that video I am just aghast that having a bit of flesh poking out down there is considered obscene enough to have to hide. No wonder women have shitty self esteems about their bodies these days, no wonder so many men have these ridiculous expectations of how a women is meant to look… look at what imagery we’re constantly being bombarded with about what the ideal female body is “supposed” to look like. And yet I am shocked to realise it’s not even the media who’s really at fault, it’s bloody censorship! How dare a bunch of prudish arseholes who probably haven’t had a leg over in years, tell me my pookie is disgusting and ought to be concealed within my labia majora?!

After watching that video though, I also feel liberated! Here I was thinking my girl down there was a bit too much of an outie but in actual fact she’s a cute little thing that other women might even be envious of (until they saw this video of course, because then they’d appreciate their own for being unique and lovely, just as it is). So as much as I like to say designer vagina, I will never ever get myself “fixed” up down there because it’s mine and it’s beautiful just as she is!

Originally published at rubyvelour.com
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rockfotze: (Harry Potter - Cho Chang is emo)

Pic source

I am not what most people would describe as a feminist. I enjoy being girly, I like to flaunt my magnificent boobs and I am constantly appalled that chivalry is dead. However, I do actually identify myself as a feminist. Oh don’t look at me like that, feminist is not a dirty word!

I am not a traditional sort of feminist by any means. I don’t go on rallies and I am not overly vocal about my beliefs, unless it involves a significant injustice against women, and I do not hate men. I do however believe very strongly in equal rights for females, something I do not believe we have yet achieved. That’s probably one of the reasons why I am a bit quiet about it, people take such offense to the idea of feminism, like women are lucky to be allowed the rights they have. The worst part is, a lot of women seem to agree with this way of thinking. I like to think they just don’t want to be labeled a feminist (like I said, people consider it to be a dirty word) but then again maybe a lot of women have the idea that they’re not quite as good as men deeply ingrained in them.

I only recently decided to start calling myself a feminist, in particular after reading a few blogs that were aimed at teenagers mostly, but I actually found a lot of the information on there really relevant to my feelings on the subject. I’ve always been the kind of person to get mad at anyone who claims (or even implies) women aren’t equal to men, and have had many heated arguments with people over sexist statements they’ve dared utter in my presence. But it wasn’t until reading some really good articles by these girls who identify as feminists who didn’t fall under the dreaded “feminazi” title that I actually decided to identify myself as a feminist. It’s a shame that I could never identify as one previously because I has this skewed idea of what feminism meant, and I’m sure it’s the same for most women. I think all women should be able to call themselves a  feminist, because there are different levels of belief in the cause (kind of like religion, some people are super devout while others believe without feeling the need to go to church).  All women should want to be equal to males in regards to human rights, work opportunities, sexuality etc.

One of the things that gets to me most is the difference in perception between males and females for doing the exact same thing. While I am naturally outraged by the idea of a male getting paid more for doing the same job as a female, just because of gender, it’s the smaller things that I feel don’t get voiced enough. An obvious example is the idea that a male can sleep with as many women as he wants and gets positive attention from other males while a female who does the same thing is no more than a “slut” (which is one of my most hated words, by the way). I hear guys often talk about how a promiscuous girl is a slut because she has one-night stands and has casual sex. When I interject and ask them how much casual sex they have, the fact they have a lot more than this poor girl doesn’t even matter. She sleeps around and that is disgusting and that is that. I’ve often asked how it differs between women and men, why can a man sleep with a hundred women and a woman sleep with say 20, and it be applauded for the male and found repulsive for the girl. There’s never a proper answer and usually comes down to the whole “women are not as superior as men” idea or the ridiculous belief that it’s dirtier for a woman to have had lots of penises in her than for a man to have stuck his dick in hundreds of vagina’s. And yet these guys will go buy a copy of FHM and ogle the featured girls (and possibly even fantasise about them)  and not even care that thousands of other men are doing the exact same thing. It’s bizarre.

And then there are things like how people think the worst of a girl who’s overweight and barely bat and eyelid over a guy who’s just as heavy. I’m sure the guy also gets his fare share of criticism for being large, but I find women get it much, much worse. The comments differ so much. “Wow that’s guy’s huge” vs “Check out that fat bitch”. It’s a weird one, but I do feel that fat girls are perceived far worse than fat guys. Then there’s the whole representation in the media, where almost everything can be sold with an attractive lady in the picture, regardless of the targeted demographic, bang a hot girl  in the ad and it’s gonna sell. Male-orientated advertising is going to be more sexual and in-your-face than advertising that’s aimed at women, but for the most part, it’s all about using a woman’s good looks and body to sell products and I think it’s sad. And my biggest gripe right now? The depiction of women who not only enjoy but actually get turned on by domestic violence. I have been noticing it in TV, film and even music videos lately and am shocked that it’s still tolerated. I also get riled by the women who suffer domestic violence, particularly against their famous boyfriends/husbands, and yet go back to them because it was “out of character”. I hope I do not have to explain how wrong, wrong, wrong this is.

I am not a man-hating lesbian as most feminists are perceived to be. I do not wear asexual clothing and hide my femininity because I feel I am exploiting myself for the benefit of men. I am a normal woman who loves makeup, dresses and the colour pink. I don’t demand or even want anything more than for women to have the same rights and respect as men get. I understand women have so much more available to them now than they ever did in the past, but I still feel women have a long way to go before a good level of equality is reached (I don’t excpect there will ever be such thing as total equality, not in my lifetime anyway). I just want people to accept the actions, desires and worthiness of women the same as they currently do for men.

There is so much more I could say on the subject, but I’d actually rather hear from other people about their ideas about feminism and whether you think there’s still gender inequality these days (namely in 1st world countries, as we all know gender inequality is rampant in many 3rd word nations). Tell me your thoughts, examples of gender inequality or whatever you’d like to contribute to the discussion.

Some interesting links:

Madonna syndrome: I should have ditched feminism for love, children and baking

Against the name Change: A Polemic

The F Bomb: Feminist Blog about Women’s Rights for Teenage Girls

The Sexual Behaviours of Women vs Men

Why modern feminism is illogical, unnecessary, and evil

What’s a Modern Girl to Do?

NOW VP To Sarah Palin and Conservative Women: Stop Being So Empowered, Darn It!

EDIT: Just wanted to clarify a few things. I am not attempting to justify myself by saying I am a girly girl who likes guys and wears makeup, as though trying to distance myself from the feminist stereotype. I am attempting to make a point that even though I do not conform to how people think a feminist ought to look or act, I am one and not ashamed to say so. I am aware the feminist stereotype exists for a reason, and so if you are offended by the fact I made a point of distancing myself from it, I apologise because that wasn’t my intention at all. I think all women of all walks of life should be able to call themself a feminist without thinking they’re going to be labled as something they’re not.

Also, I do not necessarily agree with the sentiments in some of those links, I just wanted to share a few that raised interesting points that helped prove what I was attempting to say. At least one of these is exactly the oppisite of how I feel but I wanted to show the “other side” of the debate.

Madonna syndrome: I should have ditched feminism for love, children and baking

rockfotze: (Bela - Criminal)

Pic source

As we already know I’m a bit of a fitness junkie. As such I finally decided it was time to buy some new sneakers as my Puma’s were kind of cheap and I was starting to get sore shins and calves because they weren’t supporting me properly anymore. I’ve been eyeing off those Sketchers Shape-Up’s that people are always talking about but I was a bit skeptical about them because Sketchers have always seemed like a casual shoe as opposed to an actual proper exercise shoe. Theta and they they cost $200!

So today I was browsing through Rebel Sport and found Reebok have their own version called Easytone. As they were only $180, and as Reebok are definitely known for being good sport shoes, plus they didn’t look quite as dicky as the Sketchers, I got ‘em! I also like their website and how they give you workouts that work best with the shoes (for free). You can even design your won Easytone’s! That is so neat!

They’re designed to cause micro-instability which basically means your leg and butt muscles work harder as you walk and move, because there’s these raised lumps on the soles that make balance just a little harder than with normal shoes. So I am going to test them out at gym and when walking and doing weights and see if I notice anything in the butt/leg region. Even if they don’t work (though I’m sure they will) they’re cool-looking shoes and weren’t too expensive so at least now my damn shins won’t hurt so much after hardcore workouts! Win’s all round!

I will keep ya’ll updated on the results!

Originally published at rubyvelour.com
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rockfotze: (Cara - Ruby Velour)

Today is the end of an era. I just took out my snakebite piercings for the last time for my new job starting tomorrow. I considered keeping them by taking them out before work and then putting them back in when I got home but I have decided that it is time to get rid of them for good. I knew I got them after being in London for about a year but after some research I found the original Livejounal entry where I posted about them.

That there is me a day after they were pierced back on the 1st October 2005. Let me tell you, lip piercings HURT! It was absolute agony getting them pierced, which is probably why I kept them for so long. I found they healed pretty quickly and never really gave me any problems. Accidentally biting down on the backs hurts a fair bit but you quickly learn to avoid doing that too often! I had metal studs for ages before I discovered the ones with plastic backings where the diamante stud kind of clicks into the backs. They prevented any damage to my gums and almost never fell out. I found the balls on metal studs would always wind themselves undone and fall off which was always a huge pain in the arse. The only time I took my snakebites out was when one of them was giving me some grief, I’d give them a day to rest before putting them back in to make sure they didn’t start healing over.

It’s been almost five years since I got them pierced and it’s probably going to take me a while before I get used to the fact they’re gone. I’m worried they’ll leave nasty scars as most people I know who’ve taken out lip rings didn’t have the piercing all that long and still have small scars to show for them. But we’ll see how it goes!

Goodbye little snakebites! You’ve served me well and I was always proud of how you looked on me But time to grow up (albeit reluctantly) and move on to bigger and better things! And may I go back to being an excellent kisser once more!

Originally published at rubyvelour.com
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Curious Questions!

Thursday, 10 June 2010 22:49
rockfotze: (Default)

GUESS WHAT? I finally got with the times (about 10 years too late) and got a webcam. And by “got a webcam” I mean “nicked the one my boyfriend owns and never uses from his room while he was out”! Mwahaha!  I have ALWAYS wanted one but always chickened out of it, like I was being too vain or vulgar for wanting to project my face to the world on the internet at any time I felt like. Sometimes I am weird like that. By the way, that face up there is how I look about 90% of the time when I am on the internet. Except my hair isn’t usually up, you can thank tonight’s exercise for that. So now that I have a webcam, I now also have ROBO.TO!!! Check mine out: robo.to/rockfotze

Anyway, the main reason or today’s blog is that I decided to bring it back the good old days of LJ where we all used to do little memes and share them around. I saw this one at Monster Girl Writes and liked the questions so decided I’d join the fun!

1. Would you ever get cosmetic surgery? If not, why not? If yes, what would you want done?

Yes. I don’t believe in cosmetic surgery for the sake of it (I’m looking at YOU Heidi Montag) but if you’re really unhappy with one of your features and have the funds to fix it, then I don’t see the problem. Make sure you’re doing it or the right reasons though, not just because some assholr guy will like you better if your nose was smaller and your boobs were bigger. Personally I’d get lipo like THAT if  I had $10,000.

2. What is “your drink”?

I don’t know if I have one! I enjoy a range of drinks depending on where I am and the occasion. I tend to go for vodka lime soda’s the most though I am very partial to cider.

3. What are your five fashion essentials?

Mascara, an excellent bra, a cute tutu or amazing dress, bright shoes and perfect hair.

4. Do you have any tattoos? What are they? If not, do you want some? What would you like to get?

Yes, I have many. On last count I have 13 and I will probably get more in the future though I have slowed right down and am pretty content with how many I have at the moment. They range from the grisly (skeletons/skulls, zombies etc) to the girly (pansies on my feet) and the downright geeky (TWO Harry Potter tattoos so far).

5. What is something most people don’t know about you?

There is a lot people don’t know about me. I am quite secretive about most things and have a lot of issues without opening up when it comes to my honest, inner-most feelings. I am also totally paranoid about hurting peoples feelings or making people worry unnecessarily so I usually keep anything that might cause hurt/concern to myself to avoid and bad feelings. It’s terrible, I know, but I’m working on it constantly and am getting much better. Oh and I am crazy shy! I know I don’t look like I would be, and I tend to come off as bold and abrupt to most people but I am painfully shy. Another thing I am constantly working on!

Please feel free to share your answers in the comments!

Originally published at rubyvelour.com
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Stop Being So Damn PC

Wednesday, 9 June 2010 15:42
rockfotze: (Default)

I have a bit of a gripe with various people on the internet at the moment. “Oh what is it this time, Cara?” I hear you moan, and so I will tell you! Various bloggers have been having a bit of a whinge (by which I mean, are getting all of their underpants in massive knots over) some Frock Watch thing over at MamaMia.com.au which boggles my mind. I don’t really have much to do with that site except maybe having a quick squiz at it now and then whenever some shit storm is brewing because someone didn’t like something Mia Freedman wrote and so it wound up on some crap current affairs program or there was a bit of a hubbub on twitter about it. But this took my interest because of how passionate these girls were getting. Turns out it’s a case of people considering her commenting on the fashion of celebrities at various events to be WRONG and against her strong Body Image ethos. She doesn’t comment on any of the fashions as far as I can tell, but as people comment on them and can be kind of nasty sometimes, it’s apparently hurtful and turns women against each. Um, what?

I would love to live in a world where we can all appreciate one another for how we look and the different choices we make. But I am also a realist and know that unless we all get full frontal lobotomies or turn into those old fashioned depictions of the future where we all wear the same space-age outfits and look kind of the same, that ain’t going to happen. It goes against human nature not to comment on other people, be it in a negative or positive way. Expecting women to look at celebrities who are wearing dresses that cost as much as our cars and jewels that cost more than our houses and not have something to say is preposterous. If we don’t like what they’re wearing, we have every right to say so if we want to. It’s not very nice, and we all should learn to stop being so damn critical all the time, but it’s what most people do and it generally doesn’t hurt anyone because most of us whisper such comments to a friend, have a chuckle and move on with our lives.

Mia Freedman strives for women of realistic body shapes to be seen in magazines and on TV. She’s not campaigning for a world where anyone can wear whatever they want without someone out there not liking it. Give her a fucking break. We live in a world where terrible things happen everyday. There are entire countries and religions that force women to live like slaves to their husbands and wear clothing that ensure they do not look desirable to any other man. We live in a world where LGBT people aren’t allowed the most basic right of marriage and are often persecuted and in severe cases, killed for having the “wrong” sexuality. And yet here we have people getting so mad about something so trivial. Yes, someone making a snide remark about how they don’t like what some celebrity wore to an awards show is trivial and meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Because a) There are far more important thing to worry about in the world and b) The celeb’s don’t give a shit what we lowly common folk think, and even if they did I am sure they can dry their tears with their big wads of cash and buy a few Cartier diamonds to cheer themselves up!

When we live in a world where there’s no discrimination about race, gender, religion or sexuality then we can all go crazy and stop people from having opinions about what other women wear. If indeed that’s what you really want.

Originally published at rubyvelour.com
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Bitches Be Crazy

Thursday, 27 May 2010 21:46
rockfotze: (Default)

I got a link to an article called “Best Friends for Never” by my best friend today which, as I first started reading it, made me angry. I got my female-thang on instantly and was all “Oh NO he didn’t” but then I actually thought about it, stopped being such a girl and had a laugh and realised it was all pretty much true. I hate to admit it, but girls are such bitches! No matter how nice we are or how hard we try not to, we all love to bitch and gossip and there’s nothing we can do to stop ourselves from doing it. I try not to bitch too much, though as a female I still do it and will reluctantly admit it’s kind of fun to do.

I am absolutely hopeless at being a bitch. I may come off as one with my ranty blog posts and sarcastic tweets, but I am generally a really nice person in real life. I’m the kind of person who will stay friends with someone who may not be all that nice to me, just because I don’t want to hurt their feelings by ending the friendship. Problem with that though, is that I am a girl and so leaving those sorts of people around in my life result in the need to bitch. And since I am such a social networking whore, naturally things get out of hand and very recently I ended up bitching about a friend on twitter with another friend, which the person in question later discovered. Needless to say I had some explaining to do, which has now resulted in me losing a friend. This outcome was actually something I wanted but because I had to be a typical female, I’ve hurt someones feelings in a public forum and made myself look like a right cow.

So my advice to all girls is this: Learn not to bitch. I know how unfeasible that sounds given how it’s apparently ingrained in all of us (boys too!), but we need to get out of this trap where we deal with our problems with other people by bitching about them behind their back! We all need to face up to what’s bothering us, particularly when it comes to the company we keep and start being upfront and honest instead of sneaky and nasty. I can think of about 1000 things I’d rather do than tell a friend they piss me off and I don’t want to spend any time in their company any more, but in the long run you’re better off getting it out there and saying it to their face so you can clear your conscience and not look like a total twat when they find out the smack you’ve been talking behind their back.

I made a dumb mistake by venting online instead of getting the balls to confront my friend, something I’ve been dying to do for ages but just never found the confidence to say it. Once I’d been found out, I told them what I’d been meaning to say to them all along and while I know their feelings are hurt and they now hate my guts, I had to do it in order to stop the vicious cycle. Otherwise, had I lied and apologised for being mean and patched things up, things would have just stayed the same and I’d keep bitching behind their back and being friendly to their face before eventually slipping up once again. I’ve caused some hurt in the short-term but in the long-term I’ve made both our lives much better.

Think of someone who you like to bitch about all the time. Do you need them in your life? Or could you it them down and work things out? Bitching causes small issues to become massive dramas because you work yourself up and your friend/s encourage you by listening and participating until the little thing that annoyed you in the first place has become somethings you’d be likely to see on Days Of Our Lives. Confront the issue without the bitching and get rid of the problem ASAP. Negativity is unhealthy and the less you have in your life, the better you will feel.

Get Moving!

Monday, 17 May 2010 23:50
rockfotze: (Default)

There’s nothing much boring than a person who’s all gung-ho about health and fitness and works out five days a week and actually uses their gym membership on top of exercising at home or going for jogs after work. I say this as one of those people. I used to always sling off at fitness freaks, mutter about how they need to go get a life and think about how much I was looking forward to sitting on the couch, watching TV and eating dinner later that evening while they recovered from an exhausting workout and ate a salad. And then I started exercising to lose weight, realised exercise actually made you feel really, really good and kind of got into it at some stage.

The difference between me and most of the people I see at the gym or when I got for a run is that I don’t get all “fitness jerk” about it. You know the kind of person I mean, they’re obsessed with exercise and make you feel bad because you don’t think about working out every minute of the day. They strut around the gym like they’re gods gift to whatever and flirt with the opposite sex by flexing their enormous muscles or showing off their perky butts by doing squats in the middle of the weights area. God I hate them!

You can love exercise and not be one of those creeps and I highly recommend it. You don’t have to do it for weight loss (though that’s obviously the main reason why people exercise at all) because the other benefits are boundless. Just by adding regular exercise to your weekly routine will improve your health and well being dramatically. I’m not talking about going for a slow half hour walk once a week either, I mean a proper work out where you sweat a lot and hurt at least a little bit the next day. You don’t have to sign up at the gym or get a personal trainer to do this, though I find have a gym membership motivates me since I refuse to waste money so make myself go as often as possible in order to make the membership fee worth it. If you can afford it though, a PT is great to get the ball rolling on your fitness and also teaches you how to exercise the areas you want to target (and then you can just keep it up by yourself). You really just need motivation and and someone to do it with, as nothing kills motivation to exercise faster than having to do it on your own all the time.

If you’re new to the world of frequent exercise I have a few tips to get you started (don’t I always?!):

  • Get decent exercise gear, especially proper shoes to prevent leg and back pain/injury. Wear stuff that’s comfortable and breathable. For the ladies, you MUST get a decent sports bra. I went without one for years and then when I finally bought myself one I was SHOCKED by how much better I can exercise when my boobs aren’t bouncing around everywhere.

  • Mix it up. Doing the same exercise/s day after day will bore you to death and will probably cause you to give up really quickly. Instead of the treadmill, go for a walk or run outside, it’s better for your body and you get to see the great outdoors for an hour or so, as opposed to someone’s sweaty back. Take classes, gyms have heaps and they’re free when you are a member! Classes keep you far more motivated than if you just tried to do the same level or exercise by yourself on the gym floor. Also work out a simple routine and build it up, don’t go to every gym class in a week, exhaust yourself and have to take another week to recover before you go back (if you even decide to go back).

  • Start a sport. Nothing makes exercise more fun than team sport! It doesn’t have to be something traditional like soccer, after all pole dancing is now considered a sport and is a fantastic (and sexy) form of exercise. Martial arts gives you a cool skill (ie. kicking arse) while also being great exercise and can teach you a lot about self control and anger management. I personally started boxing a few months ago and my fitness is insane now, on top of my gaining strength and losing fat. I go to Brisbane Boxing in West End which I highly recommend if you’re in Brisbane and want to hurt like a bitch the day (sometimes days) after you go.

  • If you hurt really badly the day (or days) after an intense workout, don’t give up, keep it up and get your body used to the pain. I know that sounds terrible, but it’s all about building up a resistance to the pain and making your muscles stronger (see the wiki article about DOMS for more info). The pain is worth it, I promise!

So I realise I sound like a massive exercise-fanatic-douchebag after writing this BUT regardless, I think people need to get moving more often, if not to lose weight then to get healthy and make yourself live longer and stop being such a lazy jerk. Nothing grinds my goat more than people who whinge about feeling fat when I know they probably haven’t done any half decent exercise since PE in high school. It’s gonna hurt at first and you’ll feel like a massive wanker when you first put on your fancy new gym gear and sprain a muscle in front of fitter, healthier and better looking people than you, but the end will make it ALLLL worth it. Trust me. You can thank me later when you get kick someone’s arse in a race or you have to rescue a damsel in distress or next summer when you fit in your old bikini or favourite dress.

Pretty sure I need this fancy boxing get up ;)

Originally published at rubyvelour.com
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rockfotze: (Default)

I have had pink in my hair since I was 14 years old. My mum was scared I was going to dye my whole head blue because it had been a fleeting fancy of mine, so she got me pink streaks done at the front of my hair professionally. I never would have dyed my whole head blue as I was a total wuss as a kid and never defied my mum, so I won out big time! The same thing happened when she got my nose pierced or my 16th birthday as she was scared I was going to get my eyebrow done. Imagine a blue-haired teen with a eyebrow ring – ugh, so not me. Glad mum had her doubts about my wussiness and let me get these two things done tastefully.

Anyway, because of this I like to think myself quite knowledgeable about dying hair in non-natural, vibrant colours. Even before I got the pink streaks for the first time, I used to use this stuff called Magic Silver Rose which made my hair a vivid pinky-purple colour (it was a toner old ladies used as a rinse, bit like the ol’ blue rinse, but when used concentrated it was BRIGHT as fuck). As such I am a total pink-hair-snob and shudder when I see people walking around with bad dye jobs. Doesn’t matter what colour, badly done and poorly maintained colour looks nasty, though I am especially passionate when it comes to PINK.

That is why I thought I’d share my tips on dying hair vivid colours like pink so that if you’re thinking about getting your hair did BRIGHT then you won’t make the same fatal mistakes so many others have made! My advice needs to be triplicated for those who has all of their hair dyed a bold colour (or colours) as I can get away with a lot more as I have my pink strategically placed so regrowth takes quite a while to show.

  • Get it done properly. Either go to a hairdresser to get your hair light enough for bright colours to show or at least make sure the person helping you out knows what they’re doing. I let some friends who had NO idea what they were doing bleach my hair once which almost killed it. Luckily this was the under-part of my hair so the damage was hard to see. Having someone stuff up when they’re doing your whole head will only result in tears!

  • Pick your dyes carefully! The dyes you buy at the grocery store are OK for natural colours but if you’re going got a bright red or a plummy sort of colour, you might want to look elsewhere. These dyes are designed to go over your natural hair colour and will look nasty if done over bleached blonde hair. I must admit though, store-bought black is permanent as hell and extremely good value. For unnatural, bright colours pick the brand based on how bright and permanent you want the colour to be. In Australia we really only have Fudge Paintbox which is super bright but not at all permanent (therefore ideal if you plan to change the colour regularly). The most permanent of all bright dyes I’ve found as Special Effects, which is hard to come by in Australia, though very common in the USA. SFX is therefore the best value, as a bottle of the stuff lasts ages as you don’t need to retouch the colour nearly as often as Fudge. In between Fudge and SFX are brands like Manic Panic and LaRiche Directions. Directions is a little bit more permanent than Fudge but comes in big tubs that last ages so it’s really good value. Manic Panic comes in the same sort o tubs and is even more long-lasting than Fudge and Directions so also great value. It’s an American brand though can be found in Australia easily enough (likewise with Directions, though it’s from the UK).

  • DO YOUR REGROWTH! There’s nothing worse than seeing someone with a bright coloured hair with a big, nasty strip of dark regrowth ruining it. On that note KEEP YOUR COLOUR BRIGHT! You want to rock the bright coloured hair? Then keep it looking good but getting rid off regrowth and keeping the colour even and the colour you want it to be. Nothing I hate more than seeing girls with half-faded pink hair with an inch of regrowth. Not got the time to maintain the colour? THEN DON’T HAVE IT! I know some people have their days/weeks where they let their hair fade out and look crap (god knows I have) but I tend to only ever see people during this stage, and rarely see them with the colour looking awesome. It ain’t hard so don’t slack off!

  • Pick a colour that goes with the colours you wear. I cringe when I see people with pink hair wearing red (and vice versa). If you’re going to dye your hair a certain colour then make sure it’s not going to clash with half your wardrobe.

  • Care for your hair! Now you have bright colored hair, you need to treat it better than how you’d treat your natural hair colour. Using shampoos that are made specifically or coloured hair are a good start. Avoiding going under the water in the pool or at the beach is another big one as chlorine and salt water can strip colour out. Washing your hair less may have to be another option because you’ll find your colour feeds really quickly if you wash it everyday vs every other day. And most importantly, particularly or those who’ve had to bleach their hair to get the bright colour, treat your hair to a special conditioning treatment after bleaching. I’m lucky because I have pink and black hair because the conditioner I get with the store-bought black dye is AMAZING.

I actually remembered to take a few photos while my mum did my hair last weekend. Yep, my mum. She is a pro at dying my hair which means I know it gets done well AND it’s free (I dye hair in return). It usually takes the better part of a full day to complete but she does a top-notch job each time so well worth it. Click the pics or full-sized images and descriptions.

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Step 4a

Step 4b

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask! I’m always happy to help out with tips for keeping bright, unnatural hair colours looking good! Another great reference guide is this one by Gala Darling. Just remember though, everyone is different and practice makes perfect. What may work or me might not work for you so experiment and keep trying til you get it right!


Originally published at rubyvelour.com
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rockfotze: (Amelie - stupid sexy skull guy)
I have spent the last week being full of rage and generally annoyed at just about everything going wrong around me. I'm actually not that cranky a person typically and so my usual rants are usually tongue-in-cheek and mostly just for laughs or to get something off my chest quickly and effectively. But sometimes my venting doesn't help all the time and nature does its thing and I end up in a bad mood that I can't shake. I pretty much have to ride it out and be as tactful as possible to avoid excessive ranting or hurting someone's feelings by getting carried away. As a result this week has been hell and I am hoping so badly that I will be over it this week. After all, I've just started a new job (I'll have been there one month from tomorrow) and I'd hate to tarnish it with this unexplained bad mood!

As a result I made sure to have a nice quiet weekend doing some of the things I love which I think has helped me immensely. These included going to see Alice in Wonderland at the movies on Friday night (which I loved, by the way) before coming home to find my good friends over with their Wii console where we battled it out with Wii Tennis, which I am shocking at but love it none-the-less. On Saturday I slept in late, watched Video Hits and old cartoons before slowly getting ready and catching up with some friends at an afternoon punk show. That evening I headed to my mum's for the night where we stayed up late watching movies on TV and chatting. On Sunday we bummed around the house, did some scrapbooking, watched blue wren's teaching their babies how to forage for food and use the bird bath (Cutest. Thing. Ever!), ate way too much food, ran some errands (which resulted in my almost having a seizure from laughing so much, I kid you not). Then it was home for $5 steak with a friend and now I am feeling refreshed for the new week, especially since it's my first 7:30am shift at this job and the first one I've done in years (I really do not do early mornings so this will be a massive learning curve for me).

My plans for this week include getting back on track with my healthy eating regime, exercising an extra day this week and preparing myself for Lady Gaga on Friday night! I am too excited to comprehend and I still don't know what to wear yet!!!

How do you get over an extended bad mood? Do you have battle tactics to fight it, or do you just succumb and let it take over?


Originally published at rubyvelour.com.
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rockfotze: (Default)
I don't know about the rest of you, but being a girl ain't easy. I mean, I really do love being a girly girl and would never want to be a guy, but the other day it struck me just how much we ladies do in order to keep looking beautiful. All girls are different and obviously not ever girl goes through the same beauty regime as others. Some girls barely have a beauty regime at all whereas others may have a very strict and incredibly intense one that takes many hours a day. I guess if there was a scale to represent this with 1 being None and 10 being Crazy-Obsessed I'd be about a 7. Actually maybe an 8. Well pretty high up anyway.

When I take into account the expense I go through in order to maintain everything, my mind boggles (s0 I try not to think about it too much) so just for prosperity and to make you all cringe at how much of a friggen girl I really am, here's a list of what I do to look my best everyday:

I LOVE makeup and wear it a lot. I also have a very specific regime with makeup application and have spent a lot o time perfecting it. I am always open to suggestions about how to be more efficient/cost effective or whatever, such as my recent purchase o makeup primer. That shit be awesome, yo! I tend to stick to Clinique for most of my makeup products but do use cheaper stuff like Revlon or Rimmel for lipstick, blush and eyeshadow (plus Clinique is pretty crap for bright colours so I have to go elsewhere to get the colours I like). I am always buying new stuff, particularly lipstick, so I spend a fair bit each year on new makeup.

I am actually quite cost-efficient with hair as I get my mum to dye it for me (I don't trust hairdressers with this since my regrowth is a very complicated matter). I do get my hair cut at Oscar Oscar every few months, and my stylist is amazing so I a bit pay extra for her services than the standard stylist. I don't actually use a lot of hair products and have a non-GHD (therefore reasonably priced) straighter. I do however make sure to straighten and style my hair everyday. If I don't have time for makeup, the very least I do is my hair because I'll be damned if people are going to look at my pink/black hair and think "Ugh she should maintain her hair better if she wants to rock colours like that".

I used to be pretty slack with nails, only getting back into painting them regularly early last year. Then I went to Tokyo and got nail bling done and haven't looked back since. I have to get refills every 2-3 weeks (I usually push it out to a good 3 weeks) which is a pain in the arse, albeit a worthwhile one because acrylic nails are da bomb! Don't get me wrong, the nails you see are MY nails but the acrylic and gel stuff makes them super strong and lets them grow super long. I got them done on the weekend and had to shave a few mm off as they were getting insane. I relish in having anew set with a new colour and deciding which nail stickers to use. It's time consuming but I get a lot of comments on my nails so totally worth it!

I only got into this REALLY recently as I'd always vowed and declared tans were stupid and I liked being pale. But then I got a spray tan for my high school reunion and fell in love with brown skin. I don't believe in real tans - skin cancer is not something to flirt with so I am all over these sunless tans now. I can't afford to get spray tans every week or two so have Ella Bache tan cream to maintain a sun-kissed look. It makes my legs look so much better which is a very big thing for me as I have always had a bit of a thing against my legs. Plus a tan takes a few kg off you and god knows I love tricking nature in every way possible!

Waxing & Shaving
Something no one enjoys but is a necessary evil. I tend to shave everywhere except my bikini zone because I am pretty much hairless all over and so can go for a lot longer than the average girl between leg or underarm shaves. Shaving your bikini area is huge NO NO and if you don't already, start waxing IMMEDIATELY! Waxing is actually kind of expensive and because it has to be done every 4-6 weeks it's a pretty major commitment as far as time and money go.

All girls, even those who all at the lower end of the scale of girliness, love clothes. I defy any girl to say they hate clothes and shopping and never do it. I'm pretty sure it's inbuilt in all of us, even if some of us can ignore the urge more than others. Personally I am OBSESSED! I have so many clothes it's alarming. I doubt I know anyone who has half the amount of dresses I have or have spent half as much money as I have on their wardrobes. A lot of what I own are all from impulse buys because I literally cannot resist a sale, but I do have some items, dresses in particular, which were investment pieces and I actually gave some thought to before buying (they're few and far between though, I gotta admit). I recently worked out my wardrobe is my most expensive "possession" and what I value the most of all my belongings. Sad but true!

I personally exercise to keep fit and healthy, but a large component of my wanting to go for a run instead of sitting at home watching TV and eating crap is to get my body looking good. I also swear by the gym as I've become obsessed with classes like Body Combat which is another large expense (something like $650 a year I think). Plus I go to boxing once a week which is another expense at $10 a class. It's probably the most beneficial of all my "looking good" expenses but still, totally not cheap and another expensive thing I do, along with so many other ladies out there, to keep looking good.

I'm not sure if I've missed out on anything, but that's a good summary of what I do to keep looking the way I do. Sometimes I think I live such a superficial existence but then realise it's who I am and I do it for myself more than anyone else anyway, so whether it's superficial or not, it's my business. I like looking nice and am not afraid to let people know it! I am very curious about the regime of others and how it differs to mine and the reasons why. So tell me, what do you do to keep looking the way you do and what would you change if you had the money/time/patience?


Originally published at rubyvelour.com.

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