Wednesday, 20 July 2011

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I have noticed an infuriating trend lately: inappropriate summer clothes being worn in winter. OK OK, Brisbane doesn’t exactly get to sub-zero temperatures during winter. In fact, on average we have crisp 13° which means it’s usually still quite warm in the sun. But it’s still winter, and when the seaon changes, it’s time to change with it and start wearing some season-appropriate clothing.

The main culprit? Denim hotpants. They are still being worn by so many girls and it is just not on. The other day I saw some teenagers wearing tiny denim hotpants (which I hate on principle, especially on underage kids) with jumpers and were very visibly freezing their arses off, because they were covered in goosebumps and hugging themselves in the cold wind. Girls, when it’s cold enough to put on a jumper an scarf, it’s cold enough to wear some real pants. Hot pants are to help you cool down in the heat by minimising how much skin is covered up. They are strictly a summer-only item of clothing. As I’ve already admitted, I am opposed to denim hot pants in general, I think they usually look tacky and are just fucking ugly a a whole. But I appeciate how good they must be to wear in summer whe I’m sweating half to death in my leggings/skirt combinations because I am too shy to show off much legs. But as soon as you decide to wear them out in public during the colder months, you’re basically shouting to the world “Hey, look at my nice legs, I am determined to show them off to everyone because I want attention at all times, even if it means dying of hypothermia for it”. T. A. C. K. Y. Don’t even get me started on the girls who war ugg boots with their shorts. if it’s cold enough or ugg boots, then it’s time to ditch the skimpy butt-coverings FOR GODSAKE.

Then there are those obnoxious tops that have long sleeves and random cut outs everywhere. Is anyone a bit done wth them? I am, especialy because it reminds me of the days of those dreadful one-sleeved shirts from my nightmares. Having a long sleeved top implies the wearer needs to cover up to maintain a certain level of body warmth. By removing random areas of fabric, you’re causing the long-sleeved shirt to lose effectiveness and basically render it useless. Also, what’s with the long sleeved, backless tops/body suits? What are you, a friggen ballarina? I know that’s a bit rich coming from a girl who almost exclusively wears tutu’s, but at least tutu’s serve a purpose (ie hiding my butt under layers of lovely tulle) whereas as backless body suits make your arms warm, you back cold and makes it impossible to wear a bra, which for most women is a necessity. There is no shame in wearing a long sleeved top that is whole and complete. Having random cut outs in your short-sleeved tops and body suits makes a lot of sense when the weather is hot and you need to expel as much heat as possible, but no sense at all when you’re trying to keep warm in the middle of winter.

Now this is one I’m a bit uncertain about: socks with strappy, open-toed heels. In theory it’s repulsive but when worn well it doesn’t look all that bad. But it’s a pretty hard look to get away with and most of the girls I’ve seen wearing socks and heels have gotten it completely wrong. But since I am on a roll with what not to wear in winter, I have to say that wearing airy, strappy high heels in winter is a bad idea. Adding socks to the equation is just about as bad as the hot-pants-and-ugg-boots wearers and should probably just be avoided. Let’s face it it, it’s just an updated version of one of the most elemental fashion faux pas out there and only about 2% of the people you encounter while wearing this will get that it’s a new trend and won’t snigger behind your back.  If you must wear socks with heels, you’re better off going with an enclosed shoe in my opinion (the brighter the better, of course).

There’s nothing wrong with covering up a bit now and then. If you live in Australia, particularly up here in Brisbane, you don’t get a chance to wear winter fashion for long. There is no shame in wearing jackets, long pants and thick stockings for couple of months of the year. Save the tiny shorts and midriff tops for summer where they belong and embrace winter fashion while you can!


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Cara Westworth
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